Nothing matters anymore, for death is the road to awe.
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Problems
There must be a problem to it. Maybe it is because of the "combat fatigue" I have acquired since the ASPIRE camp, I do not feel like doing anything anymore. The lack of purpose other than push myself through another hole, still, I have to live on, for reason that i do not comprehend. I need the something in my life but do not know what is it. I sought to be loved, maybe, no, I want a big sister who will pamper me... A sort of perverted fantasy. I guess. This ramble will continue in my mind less of there is a miracle to stop it. The incoherency can go on and on but I know it is up to me not to fall deeper. Why am i always the big brother over watching everything, i guess i am tired already for i have been a leader for far too long, it is time for me to rest and follow what others initiated, i guess it would be better this way. I am too domineering in some aspect and not up to par in others. I lost my balance, and i do not know what should i do next. There is no conclusion one can have in life, save for the fact that people do die. Babbling on and on, I lost the sense of coherency. I think no one can understand how I feel as tis wall of text produces nothing but angst, nothing but bad grammar as well as endless rhetorics, nothing but a person's inept inner self. I am so worthless, I wish not to live in an imaginary world with imaginary friends. I see reality as it is and i do not have the means to cope with it as I have been in both side of the line. Is it the punishment to those who have to live with reality? On the outside, I make people feel that i do not have a sense of reality but deep inside, I know what is happening, I am the outsider, out-caste, Pariah and everything that fits the description but it is hard for a person like me to excel, as i see no point in pushing myself to greater heights. Is it a sin to be normal? What is the point of having so much? Do we not have enough to eat and to live in? We keep reserves for ourselves, so why must there be so much extra? Why must we live in such desperate gamble of live where only one or two can get through? What is the point when there is none. I think it is straining the eyes of whoever read this but the style of my writing is just so, incoherent and inconsistent. I am conscious of what i wrote and i stand by the idea of it being nothing more than junk. I wish that i could end it all.
When people are to stress, they tend to get infuriated by just about anything. In ACS(I), home of the overachievers, however, things tends to get a bit more than what anyone will imagine.
That couple with the demanding curriculum of the IB course results in a community with a slightly paranoid and a heightened mental state. I think that is enough to make a difference.
There are a lot of people saying that they have a lot of commitments but i felt that it is a silly excuse because they do have a choice. Actually, I am referring to myself. My ego and concept of honour has clearly failed me, or was it? I am not sure what is becoming of us in this stress filled period, which i can literally smell the stress in the air. Although admittedly, My sense of smell is not that good.
Teachers and students alike, we yearn to get out from this mess, we need to wait, another one year to go.
Come to think about it, I have not do a proper post for ages....I mean my geo-social commentaries that is. On the eve of a new Malaysia I will blog, about the seriousness of Sodomy in the society.
Sodomy, the act of anal intercourse, oral intercourse, as well as bestiality, is a common societal trend ever since the dawn of civilizations. We have Greeks who practice same-sex relationship, and even the Holy bible devoted a whole chapter on the subject matter, of course, people got destroyed while sodomy ran rampant again.
To properly address the problem, we must go back, yes again, into the basic human instinct that spurs us into how we identify ourselves again. To start off, I felt that Sodomy is an unnatural act against mother nature, and to add on to that, humans are not design to sodomize each other to the extend that one will desperately avoid sodomy whenever possible due to the pain and hurt that involved in the process.
There is a saying, "When civilizations enters a great height, it will indulge themselves into hedonistic acts which ultimately destroy the said civilization." Yes, hedonism, the pursue of excess pleasure and sensation. Thus, when one questions the validity of sodomy, one might have a greater question, why people sodomize each other? Yes, humans have a tendency not to look at a problem directly and solve it once and for all. It seems that we are to go round and round, giving in to senseless rhetorics and other so-called philosophical blabbers to achieve nothing. Sodomy is one such problem.
Yes, we question about the legal issue and when we seek to legalized anything, the religious dudes who lives down the road will appeal to the authorities that it is not really a good thing to do. After talking, human instinct sets in and talks becomes protest and eventually another Jihad or Crusade or whatever.
Why do we need to protect ourselves against sodomy that much? It is as though that we need to do it at one point of time or another? Or is it that it is our nature? I do not believe that we need to have sodomy once in our lifetime and clearly not my nature to perform it to some person,if i need to, preferably a female. So, what is the fuss about it? We cannot do things that we do not know how. So why is there circulation about the subject?
Oh, i always forget to mentioned, the word sodomy came from the latin word peccatum Sodomiticum, or "sin of Sodom." So, it is a biblical thing altogether? no? Things that i will definitely not try to understand in my lifetime. So, what exactly spurs people to sodomize each other? In the bible, Lot the "upright" man gave away his daughter at the mercy of the so-called "sodomizes" while not letting the purity of abstinence?
In a sense, we can sense the senselessness of the whole sodomy being a major sin or something. I am not accusing the author of that particular chapter being gay and thus feeling bad and guilty about it but we should not focus on things that only applies to a minority of the people. Should everyone turns into "immoral acts" as describe by the utmost holy book which provides details that will disgust even the homosexual? Or is it "only" serves to act as a reminder of the danger behind it? Should god want to punish anyone, they should punish the Israelis for pillaging and raping "innocent civilians", but the boss always have the say right?
Going back to my beloved country and homeland, Malaysia which i do not know where is the capital (insider's joke), sodomy has been a political tool that force people into submission. Maybe the whole thing came about is due to political reasons? Even back then, it is prevalent as civilization has not yet "mature" using these low and cheap method to ridicule political enemies. Speculation and always speculations, there will not be any definite answer to that save when we completed the Large Hadron Collider and invented the time machine as a by-product.
All in all these issues that led to mindless bickering will cause more harm to the society than good. We just have to be more objective about certain issues that is around us without resorting to stances that might contaminate otherwise innocent subjects, confusing people, making them wonder what is going to happen.
To sum it up, I will like to move away from the "Why so serious" tone to a more cheerful one by presenting my findings from the internet, "The Sodomy Song" hope that everyone enjoys it.
Sodomy You must think it very odd of me But I enjoy the act of sodomy You might call the wrath of God on me But if you tried it then you might agree That you enjoy the act of sodomy
Don't worry if you feel ashamed It's been around for years Thousands more than can be named Are interested in rears Don't worry about hell No harm will come to your soul We're not all Pentacostal But everybody's got an asshole
Let me tell ya 'bout sodomy You must think it very odd of me But I enjoy the act of sodomy You might call the wrath of God on me But if you tried it then you might agree That you enjoy the act of sodomy
It might just improve your sex It's a hard act to follow The fact that fundamentalists Find difficult to swallow So join me as I sing Of an activity that's fun Open up your ring And try it front to bum Bum-bum Bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum
