Saturday, September 20, 2008


There must be a problem to it. Maybe it is because of the "combat fatigue" I have acquired since the ASPIRE camp, I do not feel like doing anything anymore. The lack of purpose other than push myself through another hole, still, I have to live on, for reason that i do not comprehend. I need the something in my life but do not know what is it. I sought to be loved, maybe, no, I want a big sister who will pamper me... A sort of perverted fantasy. I guess. This ramble will continue in my mind less of there is a miracle to stop it. The incoherency can go on and on but I know it is up to me not to fall deeper. Why am i always the big brother over watching everything, i guess i am tired already for i have been a leader for far too long, it is time for me to rest and follow what others initiated, i guess it would be better this way. I am too domineering in some aspect and not up to par in others. I lost my balance, and i do not know what should i do next. There is no conclusion one can have in life, save for the fact that people do die. Babbling on and on, I lost the sense of coherency. I think no one can understand how I feel as tis wall of text produces nothing but angst, nothing but bad grammar as well as endless rhetorics, nothing but a person's inept inner self. I am so worthless, I wish not to live in an imaginary world with imaginary friends. I see reality as it is and i do not have the means to cope with it as I have been in both side of the line. Is it the punishment to those who have to live with reality? On the outside, I make people feel that i do not have a sense of reality but deep inside, I know what is happening, I am the outsider, out-caste, Pariah and everything that fits the description but it is hard for a person like me to excel, as i see no point in pushing myself to greater heights. Is it a sin to be normal? What is the point of having so much? Do we not have enough to eat and to live in? We keep reserves for ourselves, so why must there be so much extra? Why must we live in such desperate gamble of live where only one or two can get through? What is the point when there is none. I think it is straining the eyes of whoever read this but the style of my writing is just so, incoherent and inconsistent. I am conscious of what i wrote and i stand by the idea of it being nothing more than junk. I wish that i could end it all.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Exam stress

When people are to stress, they tend to get infuriated by just about anything. In ACS(I), home of the overachievers, however, things tends to get a bit more than what anyone will imagine.

That couple with the demanding curriculum of the IB course results in a community with a slightly paranoid and a heightened mental state. I think that is enough to make a difference.

There are a lot of people saying that they have a lot of commitments but i felt that it is a silly excuse because they do have a choice. Actually, I am referring to myself. My ego and concept of honour has clearly failed me, or was it? I am not sure what is becoming of us in this stress filled period, which i can literally smell the stress in the air. Although admittedly, My sense of smell is not that good.

Teachers and students alike, we yearn to get out from this mess, we need to wait, another one year to go.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

On Sodomy


Come to think about it, I have not do a proper post for ages....I mean my geo-social commentaries that is. On the eve of a new Malaysia I will blog, about the seriousness of Sodomy in the society.

Sodomy, the act of anal intercourse, oral intercourse, as well as bestiality, is a common societal trend ever since the dawn of civilizations. We have Greeks who practice same-sex relationship, and even the Holy bible devoted a whole chapter on the subject matter, of course, people got destroyed while sodomy ran rampant again.

To properly address the problem, we must go back, yes again, into the basic human instinct that spurs us into how we identify ourselves again. To start off, I felt that Sodomy is an unnatural act against mother nature, and to add on to that, humans are not design to sodomize each other to the extend that one will desperately avoid sodomy whenever possible due to the pain and hurt that involved in the process.

There is a saying, "When civilizations enters a great height, it will indulge themselves into hedonistic acts which ultimately destroy the said civilization." Yes, hedonism, the pursue of excess pleasure and sensation. Thus, when one questions the validity of sodomy, one might have a greater question, why people sodomize each other? Yes, humans have a tendency not to look at a problem directly and solve it once and for all. It seems that we are to go round and round, giving in to senseless rhetorics and other so-called philosophical blabbers to achieve nothing. Sodomy is one such problem.

Yes, we question about the legal issue and when we seek to legalized anything, the religious dudes who lives down the road will appeal to the authorities that it is not really a good thing to do. After talking, human instinct sets in and talks becomes protest and eventually another Jihad or Crusade or whatever.

Why do we need to protect ourselves against sodomy that much? It is as though that we need to do it at one point of time or another? Or is it that it is our nature? I do not believe that we need to have sodomy once in our lifetime and clearly not my nature to perform it to some person,if i need to, preferably a female. So, what is the fuss about it? We cannot do things that we do not know how. So why is there circulation about the subject?

Oh, i always forget to mentioned, the word sodomy came from the latin word peccatum Sodomiticum, or "sin of Sodom." So, it is a biblical thing altogether? no? Things that i will definitely not try to understand in my lifetime. So, what exactly spurs people to sodomize each other? In the bible, Lot the "upright" man gave away his daughter at the mercy of the so-called "sodomizes" while not letting the purity of abstinence?

In a sense, we can sense the senselessness of the whole sodomy being a major sin or something. I am not accusing the author of that particular chapter being gay and thus feeling bad and guilty about it but we should not focus on things that only applies to a minority of the people. Should everyone turns into "immoral acts" as describe by the utmost holy book which provides details that will disgust even the homosexual? Or is it "only" serves to act as a reminder of the danger behind it? Should god want to punish anyone, they should punish the Israelis for pillaging and raping "innocent civilians", but the boss always have the say right?

Going back to my beloved country and homeland, Malaysia which i do not know where is the capital (insider's joke), sodomy has been a political tool that force people into submission. Maybe the whole thing came about is due to political reasons? Even back then, it is prevalent as civilization has not yet "mature" using these low and cheap method to ridicule political enemies. Speculation and always speculations, there will not be any definite answer to that save when we completed the Large Hadron Collider and invented the time machine as a by-product.

All in all these issues that led to mindless bickering will cause more harm to the society than good. We just have to be more objective about certain issues that is around us without resorting to stances that might contaminate otherwise innocent subjects, confusing people, making them wonder what is going to happen.

To sum it up, I will like to move away from the "Why so serious" tone to a more cheerful one by presenting my findings from the internet, "The Sodomy Song" hope that everyone enjoys it.

You must think it very odd of me
But I enjoy the act of sodomy
You might call the wrath of God on me
But if you tried it then you might agree
That you enjoy the act of sodomy

Don't worry if you feel ashamed
It's been around for years
Thousands more than can be named
Are interested in rears
Don't worry about hell
No harm will come to your soul
We're not all Pentacostal
But everybody's got an asshole

Let me tell ya 'bout sodomy
You must think it very odd of me
But I enjoy the act of sodomy
You might call the wrath of God on me
But if you tried it then you might agree
That you enjoy the act of sodomy

It might just improve your sex
It's a hard act to follow
The fact that fundamentalists
Find difficult to swallow
So join me as I sing
Of an activity that's fun
Open up your ring
And try it front to bum

Monday, September 15, 2008


Sunday, September 14, 2008

Name one person who made you smile last night.
Sorry, I don't smile

What were you doing at 8:00 this morning?

What was something that happened to you in 2006?
Failed CCA hike.

What is the last thing you said aloud?
"Fucking Bollocks"

How many different things did you drink today?
1. Coke, 2. Milk

What color is your hairbrush?

What was the last thing you paid for?
Fish and Chips.

Where have you been last night?
Boarding School. I am anti-social for the time being.

What color is your front door?

Where do you keep your change?
Change, what change?

What was the weather like today?

What is the best ice cream flavor?

What is something you are excited about?

Do you want to cut your hair?
Nope. not this time.

Are you over the age of 25?
No obviously.

Do you talk a lot?
I am anti-social. Come on!

Do you know anyone named Steven?
I think i met one somewhere before....not sure....

Do you make up your own words?
Most of the time when i try to smoke through when i teach people astronomy.

Are you typically a jealous person?
Very, jealous that NUS high have a bigger gun.

Name a friend whose name starts with the letter "T":
Tina Tan Tina

Name a friend whose name starts with the letter "P":
Petrina Liam

Who's the 1st person on your received calls list?
I lost my phone....but i think is mutter

What did the last text message you received say?
Something about where i was and they need me for guidance and leadership.

Do you chew on your straws?

Where is the next place you're going?
My bed.

Who is the rudest person in your life?
Myself is da man.

What is the last thing you ate?
Some instant noodle.

Is marriage in your future?
Duh.... I got a whole heritage to prove myself as a breeder

What is the best movie you've seen in the past two weeks?
You don't messed with ze Zohan

Who do you desperately want to meet?

Is there anyone you like right now?
I shall remain objective and task oriented.

When was the last time you did the dishes, be honest!
Just now.

Are you currently depressed?
I am always depressed.

Did you cry today?
Nope, but a few days ago.

Why did you answer and post this survey?
I have been tagged

Tag five people who would do this survey.