Friday, June 27, 2008

Exams are over and the venerable C-14 has been fixed! Praise our lord and savior the emperor!

Trying to be Different

There will be a lot of problems with various solutions. Options sometimes are limitless. So, since the solution is limitless, why do we still limit ourselves to certain criteria at all the time?

A very common answer to the above question will be, i will only attempt solution from range A to range C because we will not be able to cope with other solution. Choices are made often without so much other options not considered. It may also because we made our choices due to the fact that there are outside influences, namely our society or community. The crowd mentality, since everyone is doing the same thing, why am i doing otherwise.

Always, humankind has been troubled by this kind of dilemma, to conform or not to conform. there are people who tried to conform, but to no avail, there are other to try not to conform, but fail hard. So, what exactly does the society want us to do?

Social rejection i believe is a reflection of how mature the society is. What the society rejects is what they do not want or accept (duh), so why do people reject each other? Is it that they cant stand people who thinks differently, or they felt that they are superior?

As a non-conformist, deep inside, I wish to break out from everything, enjoy a freedom, but as a human being, it is evident that i could not live without society yet when out society reject us, we do not know who to seek or what to do. Such were our dilemma that some of us tried to commit suicide and other nonsense (what i considered stupidity) instead of conforming to society norms*

Is it because our society lack the maturity to accept the idea of us being us? Or it it difficult for them to accept us as special persons? Why are the likes of us suffering quietly, only to laugh at our misfortune?

Are we that different? Regardless of race, language and religion. What they say is that people are not equal when they have different ideologies.

I am the coward, albeit the ultimate one. I hid in my own closet, dare not come come out because people will not accept my radical ideas. Trying to conform, such that some thinks that i am a conservative, while some thinks that i am an extremist from the other spectrum.

Who am i to complain? Standards, double standards, triple standards are all blocking all. Is our society that narrow such that properly dealing with us is useless? We are but fellow humans trying to survive, we think differently, but doesnt means that we do not have any rights.

In a sense, all that has been said to protect us is NATO (No Action Talk Only). Will there be any revelation to all of this madness?

I am but one torn in this multi standard world. I know that there might be no end to suffering from our kind, but there is always hope.

Am I so different that i scare everyone? Or I am just the irritating bugger that is not worth anything?

I live my own life, the one that i choose to have, my friends, although far and few in between understands our cause. In the end, we are still us. We do not conform.

*Society norms being a standard in the community where we spend most of our time.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Just another day

Another day has passed, another day yet to come,
to all my exam, another after,
another worry, another calm,
another joy, another sorrow,
another angst, another fun,
another heartbreak, another wound heal,

My exams, one other another,
another, another, another,
another and important,
What they say, what we dont think,
What they want us, what we dont see,
What they urge to, what we dont care.

They just come one another,
after another, after another,
Do we ask? They dont tell,
Do we complain? They wont accept,
Do we stop? They will whip.
Is there an end? Only another.

Monday, June 23, 2008

The English Paper

To my delight, the passage of the day was one from a Sci-Fi post apocalypse setting, definitely one of my favorite and Angela Carter's "Heroes and Villains" is one of the holy grail such fiction. I even had it in my ebook list. I understand why most people choose poetry as their topic but i felt that i have made the right choice. I think it is time to stop lamenting about how i should have wrote more but to focus on the maths and Chinese A2 paper coming soon.

Sunday, June 22, 2008


He stopped.

With a lance in his heart, he stopped and knelt.

He bled, the black liquid flowing directly from his heart.

Then, he smiled.


He rouse and pulled the lance out, knowing full well that he cannot die from such flesh wound.

His second heart has not failed him, unlike any mortals, he is different. With a mighty shout from the combine forces of his three lungs, he screamed.

"Lupercal! lupercal! lupercal!"

The noble name of his father, the demigod, the most favorite son of the Emperor, Horus. Striking fear in any enemy that he has encountered, but not this one. The Dark Eldars, hedonistic Xeno life form, has no love for the concept of nobility and honor.

"Lunar wolves, to me! For the Emperor!"

Inhuman is what us mortals can describe the battle, for there are only mortals, watching from the orbit, in the comfort of man made plasteel and ferroglass.

The battle finished before it begun, the superhumans emerged victorious, as always, he thought.

"They shall be pure of heart and strong of body, untainted by doubt and unsullied by self-aggrandisement. They will be bright stars in the firmament of battle. Angels of Death whose shining wings bring swift annihilation to the enemies of Man. So it shall be for a thousand times a thousand years, unto the very end of eternity and the extinction of mortal flesh."

-Roboute Guilliman on the Space Marines