Crazed Physics Questions

1] A shotgun shooting 12 pellets of 00 Buckshot weighing 4g leave the
barrel at 1125 fps. Assuming the average infant will absorb 127.3 f/lbs
before disintegrating, how many babies will the average blast cut
through (rounding off to the nearest whole number)?

eight.

2] A 100 kg man is being swung by his entrails in a circle 16'in radius
at the rate of 1600 radians/sec. Find the tension in the man's entrails
(ignoring the effects of gravity).

65,024 Newtons.

3] A pagan priest attempts to vaporize a young virgin by placing her in a
flaming pit. Assuming the woman, weighing 120 lbs, is completely
composed of water, how much energy will he have to use to completely
vaporize her?

130,000 BTU

4] An infant has a tensile strength of 400 psi and has a cross
sectional area of 23.4 sq. inches. Assuming it is 23" long and has an
elongation percentage of .0036%/120psi at roomtemperature, how long will
the baby be before it is dismembered?

about 26.45 inches.

5] A 12 year old blind orphan girl is shot from a cannon at the speed
of 1200 fps at a solid brick wall. Calculate the force of impact given
that the brick wall is 3 feet away from the barrel.

if she weighs 50 lbs, and all of her sticks to the wall,
3.3 million Newtons.

6] A large plane weighing 12.7 M tons carrying 12 tons of nuns and
orphans travelling at 724.46 kph and at an altitude of 40,000 meters
suffers explosive decompression above the center of a 30km diameter
population. Assuming that one passenger is sucked out every second, how
many passengers will land within the population center?

about (give or take a torso or leg) 12.

7] A 1000 lb car is moving at 130 mph and two poodles whose combined
weight is 82 lbs are thrown out the back at 3 mph. Calculate the
velocity of the car.

140.91 happy mph.

8] Farmer Brown is selling apples for 12 cents a dozen in a room where
a torch has a brightness of 120 candela is 12 ft froma 14.36 sq meter
surface.Assuming a light bulb 17.3 cubits fromthe surface has a
brightness of 129 candlepower and gives offheat of 1.27 BTU and the room
is 423 degrees Kelvin; assuming thethe pressure in the room is 1100
millibar; assuming the lightbulb is rotating at 4 pi radians per half
minute, with the power source of the bulb a battery giving off energy at
a rate of 12000000 terajoules per exasecond; assuming the coefficient
offriction at the base of the rotating lightbulb is 1.679 E9;assuming
the room is being launched at 50 times escape velocity;assuming it
collides with the moon in a perfectly elastic collision, when the room
returns to the earth 6 days 4 hours 20 minutes 35 seconds and 12
nanoseconds later, how much does Farmer Brown sell one apple for?

still one cent, but all thats left is well-done applesaus,