Blogging

When i am happy, I blog
When I am sad, I blog
When I am angry, I smash the laptop first, then I blog
When I am depress, I cut myself in the wrist to let the blood stain my laptop, table and some of my worksheet, after applying bandage to myself while realizing it is stupid, then i blog about it.
when I am in a state of Euphoria, I blog without questioning the coherency of the words i use
When I am stress, I swallow most of my panadol, I blog, then I slept well but woke up shortly to vomit everything.
When I am solemn, I blog in short phrases.
When I am serious, I blog.
When I failed to kill myself, I will try to blog, and i will try to kill myself again.
When I fail my test, I blog about how inferior i am and still feel inferior about it but deep inside i do not care.
When i have nightmares, I try to blog about them with dubious details
When run away from home, I do not blog as i will reveal my location
When i am frustrated, I do blog, but will make the reader equally frustrated by the clarity of the content.

So what do i blog for, for life? or for channeling all my negative feeling outwards. Things that i will feel only when i am in Singapore. Malaysia is so much peaceful and fun. Still, press on, it is fun, kind of......