Sunday, May 20, 2007

Responsibility

I was a bit horrified when I found out that I will be the co-organizer for the upcoming Singastro Jovian Gazing event. Another accident I think.

My first thought would be just running away from all the meeting that I am required to go, but something else came to me. I would take the full brunt of everything that I am required to do and to help others.

I am not sure whether I was brainwashed by my old unit, but the idea is there- I like to take responsibility. Often, I will fail in a very sick manner. Like last time how I dealt with canoeing, Astronomy club, health and fitness club and Scouts. The first being in the first team and the last three having leadership position.

I just doesn't know how and when to say no. I think it is inside me to help, the willingness to throw myself into the fray. I can only describe myself as a man-wolf, constantly seeking opportunity, tearing every bit of flesh out of the bone. Greedily taking everything that does not belong to me....

Constantly filling power vacuums, the desire to overpower the rest of the wolf pack, I am the Jin-Roh. The backstabber. the traitor.

That is I, me and myself. Setting me in my own recurring thoughts.

To be or not to be, that is the question.

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