My Hangar

Dancing

2010-11-06T12:38:00.000-07:00

I a thinking of an idea, to choreograph a flash mob event for ISD next year. Thriller was pick cos Shaddy was suggesting it. There are other options too.

2010-11-06T01:59:00.000-07:00

Alright, new medication means new things to do:

To-do list:

1. Learn Fijian and Hindi
2. Choreograph ISD 2011 first sem flash mob dance
3. brush up on divination
4. finish studying political ideas
5. Eating
6. Do art sketch book
7. meditating
8. Listening to radio

How to be more optimistic

2010-11-05T14:32:00.000-07:00

Trying to learn but oh well.... it will just degrade into a rant. It seems that the more you know about the world, the more pessimistic you will get. For example, in response that my friends are trying to open an bubble tea shop, he said, "if I open a factory in Canberra for you, you will be arrested for depleting Canberra's population." So, things I know makes me so pessimistic. Like my friend, who recently went back into the closet is trying to chase after a French girl. Oh wells, people can go back into the closet right? I hope :/ Going on to even more pessimistic stuff, our ex-deputy prime minister is coming to ANU to have a lecture. I am sure that people working in the Cube will be happy visiting him, a world renowned sodomizer. Seriously, Malaysia is seriously famous for its serious case on the serious issue. Now off to the fact that I got dumped and the girl is now with another guy. Great thing that she is happy but at the same time, she is leaving. Quite illogical if you consider the fact that they guy is a player and has been with 3 girls in the pass. but, free game, as I always said. At this age, we are not suppose to make or are capable of making great decision, other than the fact that I am aiming for the MBA in Harvard, just like what my father always tell me, " Son, since i got a harvard master in industry, you need to go for a harvard MBA." Pragmatic, but not always logical. I try to make logic to govern my life, but i am always tooooo sensitive to people. Been hiding for too long, I think i just need to move it out again.

Strange

Weird

Insane,

2010-10-27T06:26:00.000-07:00

So one might ask, what do you want in life. I will be saying:" Dont bother, anything I want will not happen." That is a sad fact of my life. I only get what I need, but not what I want. I want to be strong, not succumbing to my wants, but I always gives in, going through all the piles of crap that I have been. Why is it that I couldn't have a moment that I really wanted? I want to be with a girl, yet, I can't. Why? Maybe it is just me. I do not know what am I doing.

Canberra so far.

2010-10-27T02:56:00.000-07:00

I am now in Canberra, the capital of Australia. Stuff happened so far..... too much to talk about. I have so much to say about everything. It is just too bad that I cant really do anything about it.

2010-08-01T05:11:00.000-07:00

Been awhile.

There are times that I felt like the phantom of the opera punching the keyboards away in my dungeon but hey, instead of a dungeon, I live in my own fort. At least, a dungeon is included in it. Maybe living alone for too long with absolutely no social interaction has taken its toll. I mean, why the hell did I volunteered, or was volunteered to research for a 35 million research. Good thing is that at least I can say that I have helped, but on the other hand, I sacrificed too much, or too little? In the end, it is just me and I will get what I want.

Been living without equals has such a dire effect that somehow, I felt that there is a lack of control in my life. Maybe that is because i could not get along with people my age. Mutual respect, fine phrase. The all important phrase that I could not understand, but, why will someone understand me then. I am bipolar, OCD, MPD. I just could not do it, somehow. Maybe it can be fun to have a crazy one in a group of people but hey, I have my own entertainment value right? No, it is only when it gets too personal that I may be wondering why things are what it is.

In my small little world, there is just me. No one is suppose to crossover to the line, but when i cross, I cross too far. Too far in fact which attributes to tons of my screw ups. I had too much screw ups but I do not have the courage to face it. Yes, I am a coward when it comes to principle issues. I fear that my principles could be challenged. Thus, I put in a lot of fake layers into my character. Forging someone that is not me on the outside. Maybe, I dont know who am I really is now. What is me, who is me? That is the utmost important question that I put it in limbo where everyone have theirs when they are 15 years old. Am I just slow?

Probably I will just forget what I have promised myself in this blog not far in the future but yar, I suppose that I must change. But into what, subtle, drastic. Looking back to all my post, deep inside, I have not changed a single little bit. I am my same old self. That inferiority complex. Yes. I am still pissed at every thing in life, the only difference is that the anger become sophisticated. and catalogued. I have not changed. Should I change or should i not. To me, things just comes and goes, no ideas, no complicated issues. It is just me, against the world.

2010-03-27T08:38:00.000-07:00

I am a Scout.

On my honour, I promise to do my best, to do my duty to God and my country, to always help other people and to keep the Scout Law.

As we grow up, our lives becomes increasingly and needlessly complicated. The values stated about has been shunned. Too bad for that person leading a bunch of people who have not seen shit in their lives. Ignorant is not a sin, but not telling someone what they do is not up to par when can do better is. Get what I mean? It is quite sad that a uniform group base on discipline would like to waste time on stuff that is not that essential and they are acting as if their lives depends on it.

At least I know that I have done something on the other side. I think it is better for me to go back as there are people asking me to train PSA candidates and here, I am worth shit for nuts. Cabin fever has been setting in and I need that extra push for my stuff. For all my worth, nothing get appreciated.

Oh well, you guys knows best. No direction, over emphasis on non-essentials, bloody politikings, among others. I have seen enough, you have not. Please see them.

2010-03-20T02:40:00.000-07:00

Went to the wet market today. Bought Prawns and Squid for the Seafood platter. See a lot of fish there. Eat Seafood platter lunch with Mustard Sauce.

Boring right? That is what best describe my life as of current. While the rest of the population cherishes their holidays, I actually despise it, other than my Metal Gear Solid perfectionist game, I got virtually nothing to do save for Guitar and Golf, GG, I know. The inability to have a readily available car also gives me a lot of troubles. Due to the fact that there are two untouchables (the 2 Mercedes) in my house, the rest of the three is seldom available in the times of needs. My sister drives one (to go out with her boyfriend), My mom's only available after 6pm when she comes back for work and my Dad, always busy with stuff.

On the plus side, even though I have nothing to do in this very township, I am quite proud of my "family" Standing at 12 hamsters, I did not expect that I will get this far with my hamsters. I love them, how could something so cute survives in the wild. I think I ought to upload some photos when they grow up a little. Anyway, the original father proves to be a loving parent after I separate the three new born from their mother. In any case, they seems to bond well with the rest, no psychological problems or anything like that that had reduce the previous batch from 8 to 2, I gave away 2 and three died of infighting. This is natural selection I guess. With the original mother with 2 more labours, I guess I need to trade in or give out the rest.

Anyway, Guitar have been sucky and golf is still not there yet. Still got 4 more months to labor before I go to Uni. Thank goodness that I have so much time left.

Yet, the wait for ANU is plain frustrating, too popular I guess. Worst comes to worst, University of Sydney for me.

2010-03-18T09:01:00.000-07:00

Surprising that how the mighty has fallen that low in 2 years time. Sometimes, I lost my way, but to regain them will be tough. My world view gradually become pessimistic, is it time for me to rise again? I have the capability but is lost at the moment. I think my problem started from being the total isolationist nutjob that is plaging me so far.

Anyway, it is just some thoughts.

On Lying

2009-11-02T02:34:00.000-08:00

It has been 2 days since Halloween, which nothing significant had happened.

Nothing.

Is it immoral to lie? Sometimes I need to lie before revealing something important to someone just because the truth cannot be that easy to stomach. This, I somehow found it unacceptable. Even though my principle is not to lie, the truth is more unbelievable than a simple lie. Somehow, restructuring and toning down certain elements, repackaging the flow of events is always necessary to convey certain message or else no one will believe you. It is a saddening aspect of our current society.

First writing in the midst of preparing for my IB exams, I really do not know how to express my frustration. I guess i am going crazy.

Back to the lying part, even though i know that it is an overgeneralization of events that I have seen in the past few months, the virtue of honesty has been questionable. If telling the truth will get 10 other person to get screwed, too bad, you are included. Do we need to distrust people so much so that even that they are spewing the truth, we will not be able to trust them. So, if you want to protect something you hold dear, go ahead, expect the other party to do exactly the same. My father always said, "do things that are fair to you and fair to others," strongly agreed to that statement.

I am not out to encourage people to lie, but to tell the truth. Admit to your mistake, even you do not get a second chance. The old nordic saying, "It is better to die with honor than to die like a dog," This saying holds true. The concept of honor is slipping from our society. To those reading, uphold justice, and with honor.

2009-07-18T02:05:00.000-07:00

Dear people of the United Kingdom

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of the economy, your Government has decided to implement a scheme to put workers 50 years of age and older on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to the government to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination).

Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the government deems appropriate.

Only persons who have been RAPED can get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance). Obviously, persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by the government.

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on, will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. The government has always prided itself in the amount of SHIT it gives out. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your local MP. They have been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.

Sincerely,

Gordon Brown

2009-07-05T02:38:00.000-07:00

Credits: From Saya in the Underworld

http://sayainunderworld.blogspot.com/

When I stepped out of the tube station, it was raining heavily outside. I opened my umbrella and started walking. But something was wrong. The atmosphere was somehow very unpleasant.

Strange.....

Every single person I walked past didn't have an umbrella over them. Everyone was silent and looking grim; and they walked on, all facing the same direction.

Then suddenly a taxi stopped by, and the driver put out his hand and beckoned me to come over. I gestured to him that I didn't need a taxi, but the taxi-driver said, "Come on, get in!"
He was so insistent that I had to give in. Besides I wanted to get away from this unpleasant atmosphere.

Later, the driver, pale-faced, said to me;
"Well, you know..When I saw you walking as if you were trying to avoid bumping into people on an empty street, I thought I should help you...."

New Directions

2009-07-05T02:30:00.000-07:00

Based on the facts that nobody really visit my blog, I am going to make it a quasi-personal online text storage space filled with mainly horror stories and tidbits of my life. I would like to become the great Saya chan with her outstanding network of stories. due to the fact that I am about to be free in another 6 month's time, I will only be able to update it at most once per week. If any surviving autobots are out there, we are here.

The Void

2009-07-04T23:44:00.000-07:00

Rumor has it that every Halloween during the hours of 2 AM and 5 AM, there exists a void. You must stand in front of a mirror in a pitch black room with your gaze fixated on the mirror. If you remain in the room when the moment arrives, you will feel a chill seize your body. Place your right hand on the mirror and whisper "I accept." If done correctly, in the mirror, there will be a faint image of an infant with no flesh and pitch black eyes. He will stare directly into your soul and you will hear the buzzing of flies and nervous whispering.

You will not be able to make out the image in the mirror, but you will be filled with unspeakable terror. The infant will ask you five questions about events that have occurred within your life. His voice will sound like the rubbing of sandpaper on bone and sinew and will be devoid of all human emotion. For each question that you answer incorrectly, one of your five senses will be consumed and lost to you forever. For each question that is answered correctly, you will be able to recite the name of someone you know.

That person will be found dead the next morning, with their flesh removed and their eyes missing.

2009-03-01T06:26:00.000-08:00

Okay, here we go, I used to...
1. Take Piano lessons. (Until grade 2 i think, loses interest and the 2 bugger at home is like grade 8 now)
2. Use to admire Stalin, but now Hitler is more of my type.
3. Have hair that go straight up. (Think Sai baba)
4. I will speak more with more alcohol in my bloodstream, but will slur 10% after maximum.
5. have a fist fight with my brother and sister.
6. ask mummy to leave her lipstick's mark on my cheeks with my siblings. (When i was 5, good excuse for everything.)
7. cut myself under the lips after performing a feral leap.
8. do silly things like building a fort and play war with my brothers.
9. Get upset because the dinner have frozen pork or other little gritty like that.
10. get pinched by my cousin until I cried.
11. And cried before she cried when my god grandma threatened to sew her mouth up.
12. sleep with mummy and daddy because I'm afraid of the dark.
13. hug and kiss mummy and daddy good night.(And I still hug them a lot.=))
14. see mummy and daddy a day in a months.
15. think it's rational that mummy and daddy's so busy that they can't come home recently.

So much more which I don't think you know, I used to...
16. collect Gundams and Legos, still planning to do.
17. Got dumped by someone 3 years younger.
18. Have a blog that no one visits.
19. No BFF to backstab...
20. have a crush on Faye.
21. refuse to dress up for important occasion.
22. act and think like a girl.
23. celebrate my birthdays until I'm 10.
24. slept with girls that i only knew for a few hours.
25. Stoning

Tags:

Not sure who will see this....

2009-02-27T02:21:00.001-08:00

Disorder | Rating
Paranoid: High
Schizoid: High
Schizotypal: Very High
Antisocial: High
Borderline: Very High
Histrionic: Very High
Narcissistic: Very High
Avoidant: Very High
Dependent: Very High
Obsessive-Compulsive: High

2009-02-23T04:32:00.001-08:00

What is it like to feel again?

2009-02-23T04:31:00.002-08:00

I need to overcome my emotional barrier....

2009-02-23T04:31:00.001-08:00

I want to cry....

2009-01-18T05:51:00.000-08:00

1 The song of songs, which is Solomon's.
2 Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for thy love is better than wine.
3 Because of the savour of thy good ointments thy name is as ointment poured forth, therefore do the virgins love thee.
4 Draw me, we will run after thee: the king hath brought me into his chambers: we will be glad and rejoice in thee, we will remember thy love more than wine: the upright love thee.
5 I am black, but comely, O ye daughters of Jerusalem, as the tents of Kedar, as the curtains of Solomon.
6 Look not upon me, because I am black, because the sun hath looked upon me: my mother's children were angry with me; they made me the keeper of the vineyards; but mine own vineyard have I not kept.
7 Tell me, O thou whom my soul loveth, where thou feedest, where thou makest thy flock to rest at noon: for why should I be as one that turneth aside by the flocks of thy companions?
8 If thou know not, O thou fairest among women, go thy way forth by the footsteps of the flock, and feed thy kids beside the shepherds' tents.
9 I have compared thee, O my love, to a company of horses in Pharaoh's chariots.
10 Thy cheeks are comely with rows of jewels, thy neck with chains of gold.
11 We will make thee borders of gold with studs of silver.
12 While the king sitteth at his table, my spikenard sendeth forth the smell thereof.
13 A bundle of myrrh is my wellbeloved unto me; he shall lie all night betwixt my breasts.
14 My beloved is unto me as a cluster of camphire in the vineyards of Engedi.
15 Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair; thou hast doves' eyes.
16 Behold, thou art fair, my beloved, yea, pleasant: also our bed is green.
17 The beams of our house are cedar, and our rafters of fir.

2009-01-11T07:20:00.000-08:00

I have finally finish my IA, now, I am only left with EE, TOK, Chinese WL,among others. I feel tired sometimes but is forced to press on. Too bad for me then.

One small joke I have encountered:

The JC student ask the IB student :"Have you done you holiday assignments?"
The IB student replied :"What holiday?"

Boomdeyadaa

2009-01-11T07:11:00.000-08:00

I love the mountain,
I love the clear blue sea,
I love big bridges,
I love when great white fly,
I love the whole world,
with all its sight and sounds,
Boomdeyada, Boomdeyada,
Boomdeyada, Boomdeyada.

I love casiopeia,
I love Orion's belt,
I love the bootes,
I love when meteors shine,
I love the night sky,
with all the stars and light
Boomdeyada, Boomdeyada,
Boomdeyada, Boomdeyada.

I love rainforest,
I love the milipedes,
I love mosquitoes,
I love when snakes collide,
I love our nature,
with all its kiss and bites,
Boomdeyada, Boomdeyada,
Boomdeyada, Boomdeyada.

I love my Scout-U,
I love the red beret,
I have my compass,
I love when campfire burn,
I love the boy Scouts,
with all its knots and plaids
Boomdeyada, Boomdeyada,
Boomdeyada, Boomdeyada.

Weird Dreams

2009-01-10T17:55:00.001-08:00

Yesterday, I have a really weird dream. I dream that i was digging a very long stretch of trench, with no one in sight, i just kept on digging and digging. It is until i collapse, I found myself in a social event where everyone is well dress except for me, still in my military uniform, muddy, and with a shovel. When people inquired that where were I, I just replied, working. throughout the event, I overheard gossips, particularly my friends. The clearer one is that Ke Hao had 9 girlfriends and that my ex had died. Cant remember much but everything seems so real....

Happy New Year

2009-01-01T03:09:00.000-08:00

Other than going out with my friend and two girls that until now i could not get hold, their names, my new year's eve is just stargazing and repeat my public lectures to the people. The people here refers to the public.

One thing that i have discovered is that the majority of the performer are Malays but i think it is quite good. Looking back, the same people if under different governance can be so much different. My family on the other hand.....same thing as usual, free flow wine and poker all night. I think the only people who didn't drink are my parents as they are more keen to gamble with profits than to gamble with impaired judgment.

the difference are just when we try to compare the happenings between two lands. How i miss home. My regrets would be the white wine that i did not drink on the 24th.

Tomorrow will be the new school day. The first thing that i will do is not strangle Randi and cut him into strips and force him to eat his own flesh. I need to know what the fuck happened during the briefing because i felt that getting scolded without knowing everything is not appropriate. The next thing would be buying a set of new uniform and lastly settle my books for next year. Of course i will be running away from the teachers of all my subjects or act blur in front of them. I think i will get screwed hard this time round.

Anyway, my year's resolution will be to.....ack.....i don't know. Do my best i guess. To think about it, there are nothing much to think about anyway. So i might be taking anthropology, business studies, occult studies, contemporary arts and maybe veterinarian when i finish IB. If worst come to worst, operator in Takaso!

2008-12-30T06:03:00.000-08:00

PSA is a damn strange journey. One have to factor in its public opinion. As an unwilling victim, i have to get all the flame when another screws up and all i did was a small mistake. I really need to know what that retard said that night and murder him for good. Or, i can just sit back, relax and enjoy my life. Anne, i know that i might appear that i am not serious in my relationship but, give me a chance, perhaps?

Listen to the elders.

2008-12-30T05:58:00.000-08:00

When the word elder comes into view, one would think of an old and wise person who does all the decision, or some old geezer clinging to the old ways. My old man fits the former but with a slight twist, he actually looks younger than me. His old age only shows in his medical bills. Sometimes, he is like a big brother to me but i could not strive to become like him. High income, funny, evil. There is a lot that i could learn from him but to become like him seems so distant. Maybe it is because he wants me to be a different person than him. It could be that he hides everything so perfectly that his benefactor could not see any flaws, a typical merchant i guess.

2008-12-28T22:51:00.000-08:00

This is my idea of a good Holly's eve, is suppose to be. The feast of St Adela this year was good because of the professionally baked poultry dish. The problem is just the stuffing because my sister insist that an additional cup of water. Lucky for her, she doesnt have to tie and stuff the chicken.

2008-12-28T22:41:00.000-08:00

Note: The coke cans on the table is just for show, we are still conscious when we took the picture. Like my father always says, sont drink too much early in the dinner, wait for the Whiskey to come out or else you will not enjoy the night.

Padang Besar is one of the most rundown border town in Malaysia, there is 2 of them anyway, the other being JB. The most disgusting feature of the town is still the lack of racial diversity as seen in other towns and city in Malaysia as well as the expensive and unreasonable price of the food there.

Things in Malaysia

2008-12-28T22:35:00.000-08:00

My family, and why i got wasted every three days back in Malaysia, some Chrysanthemum tea with bubbles..... hmm.... i am quite sick of Heinekin already.... I still dont understand why my brother love it. Choya is more of my taste but a Bailey every high tea is both refreshing and comforting.

2008-12-28T00:37:00.000-08:00

It is not my intention here to make a political statement. I have come under attack for exposing this, but this motivates me all the more.

We often hear the hysterical ranting of Christians who claim “Satan” is going about setting up a “New World Order” where human beings will be bar-coded like cattle and lose all of their freedoms and rights. This NWO is said to be a “one world communist state.” Christianity has a history of blaming the Devil for everything they do not agree with or in reality, their own crimes against humanity. This article is not written to make any political statements; only to set deluded individuals straight. With enough research and just plain common sense, Satan has nothing to do with this, whatsoever. It is Christian inspired, the Catholic Church, National and World Council of Churches (of which most Protestant Churches belong to and support) are working for it, funneling the bulk of their contributions into it for politics, and are at the uppermost levels abusing occult power to achieve these ends. Of course, with the incessant blame-shifting, one will often hear from deluded Christians: “Oh no!! That’s not my church!!” The Protestants condemn the Catholics; completely ignoring the fact that their religions in many respects parallel Catholicism and all Christian sects had their origins in the original Christian church- the Catholic Church.

Satanism does not place restrictions upon people. Satan advocates individuality, freedom and the advancement of the human race. Satan does not represent chaos, as some believe. One must know him to appreciate the beauty behind this, one must always make a personal commitment to him to be fully aware of his teachings.

Christians and other Abrahamic religions readily blame Satan and “Satanists” when it comes to the subject of being “bar-coded” like animals. To begin with, if one would look with open eyes, one can see these are not teachings of Satan, but of the Christian bible where people are referred to as “sheep,” one’s body is the property of “god,” one’s sex life, one’s desires and lusts, who one is having intercourse with and so many other things that are insignificant to one’s spiritual advancement are made issues of in the Christian bible, so are they not prisoners of their own minds?

Now how about chaos? Look to the endless contradictions and of course, the teachings of the Nazarene:

* He stole (Luke 19: 29-35; Luke 6: 1-5),
* He lied (Matthew 5:17; 16: 28; Revelation 3: 11)
* He advocated murder (Luke 19: 27)
* He demanded one of his disciples dishonor his parents and family (Luke 9: 59-62)

These are just a small sampling of commandments he not only set a bad example by breaking, but ordered others to do so as well. Contradictions such as these in religious teachings set the stage for confusion and chaos in regards of one self’s individuality.

The numbers of Christian sects who violently disagree with and condemn each other speak for themselves, not to mention all of the life-altering wars that are essential to this NWO, nearly all were incited by Christianity and had to do with that religion, the prime example being the second gulf war in which the initiator of the war claims that he was “ask to do it by god”, a peaceful and forgiving god will not incite wars but to find peaceful methods to prevent unnecessary pain and misery. Forgiving one’s neighbor endlessly “seventy times” as the Nazarene taught and turning the other cheek encourages nothing but chaos and crime. People are indoctrinated on how to be prefect slaves and victims. Their own bodies are the property of some alien who decides their innermost thoughts, desires and sexuality. As for the idea of people being bar coded, is just a modern invention that is compose by Christian fundamentalist.

Christians and others are so quick to blame shift- “it’s the Catholics,” “Oh, no! It’s the Protestants!” They cannot comprehend this sort of thing is and has been for centuries happening in their own churches and is the entire theme of their own bible. They have been contributing to it financially, psychically and spiritually. It is much easier for them to blame Satan than it is for them to realize their own “god” and their own ministry has deceived them. The Christian churches have conveniently used both as a distraction and as a scapegoat Satan for centuries. Just blame everything on Satan, preach to the world that they are “good” “humanitarian” and above all “God.” A lie repeated and enforced often enough will eventually be believed, no matter how ludicrous it is. Trillions and trillions of dollars have been channeled into promoting this lie publicly, while their top religious leaders clandestinely work to enslave the world as they have in the past through their root, the Catholic Church. The Protestants are no different with their Salem Witch Trial murders and compulsory church attendance in Colonial America. As self proclaimed advocators of freedom, the aforementioned religion is nothing more than hypocrites when one take their philosophy into account.

Christianity is not spiritual in any respect. They are in truth a political institution posing as a religious/spiritual front. Followers are deceived into living for their death, giving up all occult knowledge and power so they are defenseless and harmless against those who have this knowledge, power and know how to use it. They are deluded into thinking their “god” will punish these people when all along, they have been prepared through generations to be mindless slaves and their souls have through generations of rejecting true spirituality, atrophied in power.

I read where Billy Graham’s churches now have DVD and plush loudspeaker systems with stereo. What does this have to do with spirituality? Their front of Christian charity is a joke. Most of the donations, which total in the trillions of dollars, are funneled into the World Council of Churches where they are used politically, for funding wars and other terrorist activities. Secular organizations such as the local county welfare agencies are the ones who in truth do the most for the needy. This comes out of the pockets of the taxpayers, not the Christian churches.

The leaders of both Christianity and totalitarian governments themselves are incredibly materialistic. When we look at the Catholic Church through the centuries, we find that as they were bleeding the last bit of money from poverty stricken families, widows and even generations of families who were targeted by the inquisition, the church itself was amassing and hoarding gold, silver, valuable knowledge, artifacts, and precious gems in unbelievable quantities.

In addition to taking in and gathering all the gold, silver and other valuables it was able to confiscate, the Catholic Church acquired huge amounts of real estate; most of this was also accomplished through the mass murders and extortion carried out by the Inquisition. The Catholic Church today is undoubtedly the most exceptionally wealthy institution on the face of the earth. The amount of money, land, treasures, artifacts, and other material holdings of the Catholic Church alone are beyond the stretch of the imagination.

Even through the Dark Ages when poverty was widespread, mostly because of Christianity itself, we find these huge and fabulously wealthy cathedrals, built in the midst of the extreme deprivation of the populace, with altars and apses made of gold with ornately decorated vaults, columns and walls. Magnificent basilicas, cathedrals, abbeys, baptisteries, monasteries, convents, and churches were built. Practically all of these were so lavish and so huge in comparison with the meager surroundings of the times, that they flamboyantly stood out as the main repository of all the material wealth — gold, silver and architectural lavishness — of both their era and their geographical location.

The Catholic Church during the Dark Ages established itself as the unconditional ruler over all of Europe. The Catholic Church had complete dominion over kings and queens, the military and ruled by terror. No one was free in any respect. Knowledge was destroyed and/or removed from the populace, because to create a perfect slave state, slaves must be illiterate and without power.

The concept of world domination by a select group who rule with an iron fist and use mass murder and terror to achieve their ends is spelled out through the entire Christian bible.

Concepts: The state owns and controls all property. Listed below are parallels and teachings in the Christian bible: Your body isn’t your own; it is the property of “god.”

* Don’t have sexual urges, if you do, the owner of your body will do as he pleases with it and “cast it into Hell” (Rule by terror): Matthew 5: 27-30
* The “lord” has control over all of your personal relationships: Matthew 19: 9
* No freedom of speech: Matthew 5: 33-37; 12: 36
* Let them throw you in prison: Matthew 5: 25
* Don’t defend yourself or fight back; be the perfect slave: Matthew 5: 39-44; Luke 6: 27-30; 6: 35
* The meek make the best slaves; “meek” means “submissive”: Matthew 5: 5
* Live for your death, never mind the life you have now. This is a classic on how to run a slave state. Life is not worth fighting for: Matthew 5: 12
* Break up the family unit to create chaos: Matthew 10: 34-36 Luke 12: 51-53
# Let the chaos reign: Matthew 18: 21-22
# Don’t own any property: Matthew 19: 21-24; Mark 12: 41-44 Luke 6: 20; 6: 24; 6: 29-30
# Forsake your family- “Father, mother, sisters and brethren” this is what a totalitarian state demands of and rewards children for who turn in their parents to be executed: Matthew 19: 29
# More slavery and servitude: Exodus 21:7; Exodus: 21: 20-21; Leviticus: 25:44-46; Luke 6: 40- the state is perfect. Luke 12: 47; Ephesians: 6:5; Colossians: 3:22; 1 Timothy: 6: 1; Titus 2: 9-10; 1 Peter 2:18

# The Nazarene, much like the teachings in the Old Testament, demanded complete and total obedience and enforced this concept through fear and terror. Preachers delude their congregations into believing “Jesus loves you.” They scream and whine “out of context” but they are the ones who miss the entire message and are “out of context.”

# The Nazarene never taught humanity anything for independence or advancement. Christians rave about how this entity healed the afflicted, but he never taught anyone how to heal himself or to even understand the nature of disease. He surrounded himself mainly with the ignorant and the servile.

The true evil one is the master of deception and lies; “he deceived the world.” Paying for one’s own damnation is a common theme here. His name is not Satan or Lucifer, but Jehovah or Yahweh depending on the translation.

Christians have stripped themselves of all occult power and understanding, have financed and worked for all of this for centuries and now they blame it all on the Devil. They cannot see it is their own “god” and Nazarene.

Occult knowledge can be used by anyone for any purpose. Any fool can readily see the above is not of Satan, nor does it have anything to do with him and these so called “occult groups” are infiltrated from top to bottom by Catholic Jesuits and others who wish to delude those who might be Luciferian or Pagan and keep them under their control. This can be seen with their Christian occult symbols, Jehovah/YHVH “god” names and angels.

It is obvious in addition to all of this; the Catholic Church was enraged by the revelation of the pedophilia scandals. These actions were planned and deliberate. The pope and high-ranking clergy acted indignant and spiteful when exposed to the world, but the problem is never directly addressed, showing their unwillingness to see their own fault.

More:

Billy Graham and his relentless working for, funding and contributing to the NWO and enslavement of humanity (Under Construction)

References:

* Vatican Assassins : Wounded in the House of My Friends, The Diabolical History of the Society of Jesus Including: Its Second Thirty Years' War (1914-1945), its Cold War (1945-1990), and Its Assassination of America's First Roman Catholic President, John Fitzgerald Kennedy (1963) by Eric Jon Phelps, 2001

* The Secret History of the Jesuits by Edmond Paris; translated from the French, 1975

* An Atheist Speaks by Madalyn Murray O’Hair, 1986

* Billy Graham and his Friends by Dr. Cathy Burns 2001

* Our Constitution, the Way It Was by Dr. Madalyn O'Hair, revised edition, 1988

* An Atheist Speaks by Madalyn Murray O'Hair, 1986

* The Cross and the Sickle...Superchurch by Billy James Hargis and Bill Sampson, 1982

* The Book Your church Doesn't Want You To Read - Tom C. Leedom, editor 1993

2008-12-26T06:53:00.000-08:00

After a deep long hibernation, I have awaken!

Actually, after realizing that I am only rambling about to myself in my blog, I decided to give it a rest after a string of lackluster post. I have to celebrate the grand high climax by my own on the 26th thus, i think it is okay just to talk to myself.

I found out that changing your car's batteries are expensive and should not be tried even you are loaded, and that Singapore is a big place to tow-truck drivers.

Thought of the day: Be the dealer, not the player.

Itunes shuffle

2008-11-03T08:04:00.000-08:00

Instructions:
Go to your music player of choice and put it on shuffle. Say the following questions aloud, and press play. Use the song title as the answer to the question. NO CHEATING.

How does the world see you?
All Nightmare Long by Metallica (Er… am I that bad as a human being?)

Will I have a happy life?
Gematria (The killing name) by Slipknot (Playing with number? something to do with words.)

What do my friends really think of me?
19-2000 by Gorillaz' (Maybe i need an extreme makeover "Get the cool shoeshine")

What do people secretly think of me?
Finale/Reprise from The Nightmare before Christmas (It is getting more weird....Gothic i guess)

How can I be happy?
Mobscene by Marilyn Manson (It is me....best not to conform to anything)

What should I do with my life?
Somewhere by Within Temptation (Ending somewhere?)

Will I ever have children?
Sleigh Ride by Star Wars Cantina (Astronaut Children? I guess it is good to have a bunch of Astronomer kids)

What is some good advice for me?
Cursum Perficio by Enya (Literally "I finish the course." in Latin. Finish the IB course is the way to go and i will not falter!")

How will I be remembered?
Fatal Fight by Yuki Kajiura (I am destined to die standing my ground in an hopeless battle)

What is my signature dancing song?
Repentance by Dream Theater (Slow dance. And a long one too)

What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
Blinder Saeger by Cultus Ferox (Nice and grand opening i guess)

What song will play at my funeral?
Summer Night City, Therion cover (I will wait for the sunrise with my soul dancing in the dark, Epic!)

What type of men/women do you like?
Triskha by telepopmusik (A girl from New York?)

What does next year have in store for you?
Open War "Theme Of Open The War" by Keiki Kobayashi (Year 6 will be a tough battle, Rock on!)

What does your love life look like next year?
Rollin' (Urban Assault Vehicle) by Limp Bizkit (Sounds good, let's hope that it is true)

What do you say when life gets hard?
The Last Journey Home by DragonForce (Let's perform the last rite and hit home in the most glorious manner....for the emperor! In death e stay by his side)

What do you think when you get up in the morning?
Tears Of Joy by Antonio Forcione (Perhaps grateful to have survive another night?)

Song that reminds you of your first kiss?
Girl by Gregorian Chants (Girls from the mouth of monks, and yes, i have not kiss a girl yet....aw....)

Your Favourite Saying?
Sunset Valley by Bandari (The sun has set, but it has nothing to do with my favorite quote)

Most Missed Memory?
Valentines day by Linkin Park (Must be the time with her...too bad i did not treasure it....)

What song describes your best friend?
Who's your daddy by Lordi (He rocks!)

What song describes your ex?
Knock it Down by SAF band (She controlled my life and she shoots very far)

What song describes yourself?
Storms of Afrika by Enya (Welcome to Rhodesia, My bru)

Where will you be in 10 years?
The Extra Mile by Laura Pausini(the person who will tread the extra mile)

Your love life right now?
Call of Duty Finest Hour (Duty first!)

What is your state of mind at the moment?
In My Place by Coldplay (No one will know where my inner place it so yay!)

The song you'll put as the subject?
Grotesque Figures ~Battle With the Colossus~ by Koh Otani (Difficult choice, but medieval grotesque artwork is my choice)

Looks accurate to me, i think that's good though.

Oktober Fest

2008-10-23T08:36:00.000-07:00

Warning: Rant Post, Please ignore if you are a student councilor.

Three things: No alcohol, No tobacco, No chicks

Those are three ingredient to make the perfect party which the Oktober fest has sadly avoided which is understandable inside the school premise. I think others can infer from there where else should the Oktober fest be held and ETC.

Haunted house is quite lacking in bringing full effect of the term "Scary" which is quite entertaining for a "B" movie. Haix..... I think i should stop now to avoid more covulated sentences.

2008-10-04T02:15:00.000-07:00

With the Prem Binister calling for more youths to get married and have babies, and even giving pak tor tips some more, the Gahmen has decided to make dating an issue of national security.

And to tackle this, they are merging the Internal Security Department (ISD) and the Social Development Unit (SDU). The ISD and SDU will form a single entity, the ISDU (Investigation of Singapore Dating Unit), and it is hoped that the ISD's surveillance expertise will help the SDU locate the loves of Singaporeans' lives faster.

"It's not the most obvious match, we know," said Mr. Too Geh Der, the Minister of Mergers and Consolidation. "But when you really look at the two of them, it makes complete sense."

"The depleting population and manpower shortage are now probably the biggest threat to Singapore's internal security," said Mr. Too. "So we think these two departments should team up to tackle the issue."

Trial runs of the joint operation and management of the ISDU have already begun.

"As with most arranged marriages, there are some teething problems," said ISDU spokesperson Ms. Khee Pak Tor. "But we have every confidence that like many arranged marriages, things will settle down eventually."

Apparently, SDU staff had initially complained that ISD staff were standoffish.

"When I first met them, at a getting-to-know-you cruise to nowhere," said SDU officer Miss Boh Lang Ai. "I thought they were all a bunch of cold fish."

"But then I got to know them better, and found it had nothing to do with their personalities," Ms. Boh continued. "Their coldness was just a work habit. All those air-con treatments, lah."

In fact, the SDU staff have very much warmed up to their air-conditioned counterparts.

"They're very observant, and they are good photographers," noted SDU officer Miss Chin Pai Kuah. "And really good listeners. They knew so much about my habits that I thought they had a file on me, but of course they said it's not true!"

Miss Boh agreed. "At first I had my reservations about the merger, but then I saw the light. Admittedly, it was being shone into my face, but you know, whatever."

ISD officers declined to be interviewed, but issued this statement to the press: "We believe that partnership with the SDU fits in very much with our strategic aims. Both of us deal in wallflowers - the SDU tries to find dates for wallflowers, while we plant flowers on the wall with bugs in them to listen in on people."

There are, however, those who are more skeptical about the ability of our secret agents to help find the loves of people's lives.

Said a SDU member who did not wish to be named, "Find the love of my life for me? Piang, find a pai kah terrorist also cannot!"

2008-10-02T07:00:00.000-07:00

My Result: Zday survivor
-= click here to take =-

Pirates

2008-09-30T20:24:00.001-07:00

“We just saw a big ship,” the pirates’ spokesman, Sugule Ali, said in a telephone interview. “So we stopped it.”

“We don’t consider ourselves sea bandits,” he said. “We consider sea bandits those who illegally fish in our seas and dump waste in our seas and carry weapons in our seas. We are simply patrolling our seas. Think of us like a coast guard.”

Probably the best quote of the week. The thing about pirates is that their innate ability to conjure up the image of a self righteous and noble defense force of the weak. Brings back the nostalgia of the ages of the privateers.

Problems

2008-09-20T08:04:00.000-07:00

There must be a problem to it. Maybe it is because of the "combat fatigue" I have acquired since the ASPIRE camp, I do not feel like doing anything anymore. The lack of purpose other than push myself through another hole, still, I have to live on, for reason that i do not comprehend. I need the something in my life but do not know what is it. I sought to be loved, maybe, no, I want a big sister who will pamper me... A sort of perverted fantasy. I guess. This ramble will continue in my mind less of there is a miracle to stop it. The incoherency can go on and on but I know it is up to me not to fall deeper. Why am i always the big brother over watching everything, i guess i am tired already for i have been a leader for far too long, it is time for me to rest and follow what others initiated, i guess it would be better this way. I am too domineering in some aspect and not up to par in others. I lost my balance, and i do not know what should i do next. There is no conclusion one can have in life, save for the fact that people do die. Babbling on and on, I lost the sense of coherency. I think no one can understand how I feel as tis wall of text produces nothing but angst, nothing but bad grammar as well as endless rhetorics, nothing but a person's inept inner self. I am so worthless, I wish not to live in an imaginary world with imaginary friends. I see reality as it is and i do not have the means to cope with it as I have been in both side of the line. Is it the punishment to those who have to live with reality? On the outside, I make people feel that i do not have a sense of reality but deep inside, I know what is happening, I am the outsider, out-caste, Pariah and everything that fits the description but it is hard for a person like me to excel, as i see no point in pushing myself to greater heights. Is it a sin to be normal? What is the point of having so much? Do we not have enough to eat and to live in? We keep reserves for ourselves, so why must there be so much extra? Why must we live in such desperate gamble of live where only one or two can get through? What is the point when there is none. I think it is straining the eyes of whoever read this but the style of my writing is just so, incoherent and inconsistent. I am conscious of what i wrote and i stand by the idea of it being nothing more than junk. I wish that i could end it all.

2008-09-19T21:52:00.000-07:00

54 words

Speed test

Exam stress

2008-09-18T08:22:00.000-07:00

When people are to stress, they tend to get infuriated by just about anything. In ACS(I), home of the overachievers, however, things tends to get a bit more than what anyone will imagine.

That couple with the demanding curriculum of the IB course results in a community with a slightly paranoid and a heightened mental state. I think that is enough to make a difference.

There are a lot of people saying that they have a lot of commitments but i felt that it is a silly excuse because they do have a choice. Actually, I am referring to myself. My ego and concept of honour has clearly failed me, or was it? I am not sure what is becoming of us in this stress filled period, which i can literally smell the stress in the air. Although admittedly, My sense of smell is not that good.

Teachers and students alike, we yearn to get out from this mess, we need to wait, another one year to go.

On Sodomy

2008-09-16T05:17:00.000-07:00

Ah...

Come to think about it, I have not do a proper post for ages....I mean my geo-social commentaries that is. On the eve of a new Malaysia I will blog, about the seriousness of Sodomy in the society.

Sodomy, the act of anal intercourse, oral intercourse, as well as bestiality, is a common societal trend ever since the dawn of civilizations. We have Greeks who practice same-sex relationship, and even the Holy bible devoted a whole chapter on the subject matter, of course, people got destroyed while sodomy ran rampant again.

To properly address the problem, we must go back, yes again, into the basic human instinct that spurs us into how we identify ourselves again. To start off, I felt that Sodomy is an unnatural act against mother nature, and to add on to that, humans are not design to sodomize each other to the extend that one will desperately avoid sodomy whenever possible due to the pain and hurt that involved in the process.

There is a saying, "When civilizations enters a great height, it will indulge themselves into hedonistic acts which ultimately destroy the said civilization." Yes, hedonism, the pursue of excess pleasure and sensation. Thus, when one questions the validity of sodomy, one might have a greater question, why people sodomize each other? Yes, humans have a tendency not to look at a problem directly and solve it once and for all. It seems that we are to go round and round, giving in to senseless rhetorics and other so-called philosophical blabbers to achieve nothing. Sodomy is one such problem.

Yes, we question about the legal issue and when we seek to legalized anything, the religious dudes who lives down the road will appeal to the authorities that it is not really a good thing to do. After talking, human instinct sets in and talks becomes protest and eventually another Jihad or Crusade or whatever.

Why do we need to protect ourselves against sodomy that much? It is as though that we need to do it at one point of time or another? Or is it that it is our nature? I do not believe that we need to have sodomy once in our lifetime and clearly not my nature to perform it to some person,if i need to, preferably a female. So, what is the fuss about it? We cannot do things that we do not know how. So why is there circulation about the subject?

Oh, i always forget to mentioned, the word sodomy came from the latin word peccatum Sodomiticum, or "sin of Sodom." So, it is a biblical thing altogether? no? Things that i will definitely not try to understand in my lifetime. So, what exactly spurs people to sodomize each other? In the bible, Lot the "upright" man gave away his daughter at the mercy of the so-called "sodomizes" while not letting the purity of abstinence?

In a sense, we can sense the senselessness of the whole sodomy being a major sin or something. I am not accusing the author of that particular chapter being gay and thus feeling bad and guilty about it but we should not focus on things that only applies to a minority of the people. Should everyone turns into "immoral acts" as describe by the utmost holy book which provides details that will disgust even the homosexual? Or is it "only" serves to act as a reminder of the danger behind it? Should god want to punish anyone, they should punish the Israelis for pillaging and raping "innocent civilians", but the boss always have the say right?

Going back to my beloved country and homeland, Malaysia which i do not know where is the capital (insider's joke), sodomy has been a political tool that force people into submission. Maybe the whole thing came about is due to political reasons? Even back then, it is prevalent as civilization has not yet "mature" using these low and cheap method to ridicule political enemies. Speculation and always speculations, there will not be any definite answer to that save when we completed the Large Hadron Collider and invented the time machine as a by-product.

All in all these issues that led to mindless bickering will cause more harm to the society than good. We just have to be more objective about certain issues that is around us without resorting to stances that might contaminate otherwise innocent subjects, confusing people, making them wonder what is going to happen.

To sum it up, I will like to move away from the "Why so serious" tone to a more cheerful one by presenting my findings from the internet, "The Sodomy Song" hope that everyone enjoys it.

Sodomy
You must think it very odd of me
But I enjoy the act of sodomy
You might call the wrath of God on me
But if you tried it then you might agree
That you enjoy the act of sodomy

Don't worry if you feel ashamed
It's been around for years
Thousands more than can be named
Are interested in rears
Don't worry about hell
No harm will come to your soul
We're not all Pentacostal
But everybody's got an asshole

Let me tell ya 'bout sodomy
You must think it very odd of me
But I enjoy the act of sodomy
You might call the wrath of God on me
But if you tried it then you might agree
That you enjoy the act of sodomy

It might just improve your sex
It's a hard act to follow
The fact that fundamentalists
Find difficult to swallow
So join me as I sing
Of an activity that's fun
Open up your ring
And try it front to bum
Bum-bum
Bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum

2008-09-15T06:54:00.000-07:00

八月中秋山林凉，风吹大地草枝摆，
甘霖老母赶羚羊，来年羊毛超级卖，
草枝摆啊赶羚羊，赶羚羊啊草枝摆，
庭院织笆为君开，都阑山下金桔摆，
天摇地动舟渡岚，岚呼甘霖老迹埋，
金桔摆啊老迹埋，老迹埋啊金桔摆。

2008-09-14T09:51:00.000-07:00

Name one person who made you smile last night.
Sorry, I don't smile

What were you doing at 8:00 this morning?
Sleeping.

What was something that happened to you in 2006?
Failed CCA hike.

What is the last thing you said aloud?
"Fucking Bollocks"

How many different things did you drink today?
1. Coke, 2. Milk

What color is your hairbrush?
Red.

What was the last thing you paid for?
Fish and Chips.

Where have you been last night?
Boarding School. I am anti-social for the time being.

What color is your front door?
Blue

Where do you keep your change?
Change, what change?

What was the weather like today?
Cloudy.

What is the best ice cream flavor?
Vanilla

What is something you are excited about?
Exams.

Do you want to cut your hair?
Nope. not this time.

Are you over the age of 25?
No obviously.

Do you talk a lot?
I am anti-social. Come on!

Do you know anyone named Steven?
I think i met one somewhere before....not sure....

Do you make up your own words?
Most of the time when i try to smoke through when i teach people astronomy.

Are you typically a jealous person?
Very, jealous that NUS high have a bigger gun.

Name a friend whose name starts with the letter "T":
Tina Tan Tina

Name a friend whose name starts with the letter "P":
Petrina Liam

Who's the 1st person on your received calls list?
I lost my phone....but i think is mutter

What did the last text message you received say?
Something about where i was and they need me for guidance and leadership.

Do you chew on your straws?
Tasty...

Where is the next place you're going?
My bed.

Who is the rudest person in your life?
Myself is da man.

What is the last thing you ate?
Some instant noodle.

Is marriage in your future?
Duh.... I got a whole heritage to prove myself as a breeder

What is the best movie you've seen in the past two weeks?
You don't messed with ze Zohan

Who do you desperately want to meet?
Ania.

Is there anyone you like right now?
I shall remain objective and task oriented.

When was the last time you did the dishes, be honest!
Just now.

Are you currently depressed?
I am always depressed.

Did you cry today?
Nope, but a few days ago.

Why did you answer and post this survey?
I have been tagged

Tag five people who would do this survey.
Pig.
Michael
John.
Jasper.
Justin.

2008-09-09T05:26:00.000-07:00

I have lost track of space and time, the last time i blogged seems so...recent...

Space and time, wonderful words for a wonderful world. Not mine.

Chances comes and goes and I felt nothing, giving my chance away...

Away...

Away...

Away...

I am hurt by myself, stabbing myself not unlike the japanese performing harakiri, just because a mistake, an oversight of my part.

I hurt myself again.

ASEAN dance

2008-08-02T19:15:00.000-07:00

Let's put it this way, I was quite tired and sick after the week thus my performance was ot up to standards. No comments to the rest of the stuff but the most valuable thing i got is the fireworks video that i took which i think can reverse anything that i have undone.

Excuses again...

Observation on 30th July 2008

2008-07-31T05:49:00.000-07:00

Weather: semi-cloudy
Time: 9.30pm to 10pm
Telescope Used: C-14
Messier object logged: M7
Planet logged: Jupiter
Major stars: Summer Triangle
NGC objects: Nil

Comments: Bad day as light pollution happens over Scorpio, Jupiter forms a source of light pollution over Sagittarius. Due to the fact that there are clouds over NGC 2132, it is quite hard to pinpoint the actual position of it and the theresold limitation of C-14's filed of vision maybe a hampering factor.

Improvement: More paddings in the observatory to make the place more comfortable. Suggest to modify observatory to allow a greater field of vision. Repair motor for continue stargazing session on one object.

2008-07-30T04:43:00.000-07:00

2008-07-29T08:54:00.000-07:00

2008-07-29T08:45:00.000-07:00

2008-07-29T08:42:00.000-07:00

2008-07-29T08:41:00.001-07:00

2008-07-29T08:31:00.000-07:00

3gl

2008-07-29T04:36:00.000-07:00

What i got when i googled 3gl.

2008-07-28T06:10:00.000-07:00

What's Your Inner Demon?

this quiz was made by Melissa

Inner Demon

2008-07-28T05:41:00.000-07:00

I have been plague by it, the notion of having this in my own body is unthinkable, unimaginable, I was a motivated person back then, but a wreck now.

Tiredness and stress has led me to stop and to procrastinate, instead of working, i lost focus, having stoppage and naps in between work time. In my mind, image of that person kept on flooding into my mind, i could not stop thinking about her, even i told myself not to.

The pain of losing focus on what have to do, the pain of the image kept on popping up in my mind and not able to do anything about it. Mentally unsound, I could just do as much as i can but there are so much else to do.

I am weak, I am a weakling, I do not deserve to live. Yet, i am still here, although i do not deserve it, it is still my right to stand my ground, fighting a losing battle. At least i fought, but without conviction. I think, that is enough.

I wish not to outdo others but to press on, sometimes, I feel alone, but i always knows that there will be light somewhere out there and that the night before dawn is the darkest.

My inner demon, my battle, there will be no reinforcement except from that of my own. My fight, I want to win.

Ork Kulture

2008-07-21T06:05:00.000-07:00

The currency of the Orks is teef. We know this from before even Gorkamorka, though it was then that it became relevant. We know that the Bad Moons are the richest of the clans because their teef grow earlier, faster and longer; we know that all Orks grow and regrow teef at a fairly constant rate. We know that teef are an effective universal currency, since all Orks can grow teef for themselves or knock out the teef of the next Ork along. Due to the lack of medical sophistication inherent to a society where the most delicate tool is the choppa, and the prevalence of Orka Kola, teef cannot be hoarded (toof dekay). The number of teef in the universe has a direct and stable relationship with the number of Orks. Teef are a kurrency well suited to Orkdom. But why do Orks need kurrency?

What would an Ork want to spend their teef on? Gunz and wagons, of course (though that has problems in itself - see Mekboyz below). Food? There is talk of squig pies and fungus beer, but a Waaagh on the move will have plenty of 'umies to eat, and a Waaagh not on the move has Grots, Squigs, Snots and of course any Boyz who fall asleep without their shoota next to them. Perhaps finer culinary delights (dead cyboar stewed in its own lubricants) might take the fancy of Bosses, but to my knowledge there has never been anything said on Boyz living off more than the local fungus (mobile or not) and the slower Grots. And why would an Ork provide food for teef when they could be going out and stikkin da boot in? Grot scavengers seem to be largely responsible for providing food to the Waaagh, and the type of payment an Ork would give a Grot is likely to be along the lines of "and bring me more umies or I'll rip off your uvver leg". This is not an outlet for teef, except perhaps ones broken on unexpected bones or bullets.

Teef are stable, and there are no teef to gain from conquest; Orks do not go to war for profit motive (nobody else has decent teef, with the possible exception of Tyranids, who have more teef than anything else in the universe. The encroachment of the Hive Fleets may well cause a devaluation of the toof, and severe damage to the Orkonomy, if anyone ever beats them). Orks go to war for war's sake, and do not so much care about the profit involved, although they will of course engage in lootin' once the enemy are all dead, and may well trade looted stuff to the Mekboyz. Orks gain pleasure from fighting, not booze, and there are no Ork women (women being the principal reason for economic activity in a race that features sexual dimorphism). The only real reason an Ork would have for spending teef is gunz. Just as Heinz meanz beanz, Gunz meanz Mekboyz.

Mekboyz are responsible for the weapons, vehicles and other equipment of the Waaagh. Mekz were programmed by the Brainboyz/Old Ones to instinctively understand teknologee (Orkish force fields, produced by untrained savages, are comparable even to the Necrons or Eldar) Mekboyz, too, are not driven by profit motive or by greed for food or booze. Their motivation is to outdo other Mekz and make the blastiest kustom shoota, the fightin'est Dread, or the zoomin'est (red) trukk. Other Orks trade them teef for their gunz and trukks, but what do Meks do with their teef? More scrap and more guinea-grots to continue with their work.

However, since a kustom blasta will sell to a Nob for far more teef than the bitz used to make it, Mekboyz make a profit on their everyday work. What do they do with their teef? Spend them instantly on more scrap. Mekz gradually get richer and richer, their schemes more and more insane and extravagant, from shoota to mega-armour to Dread to Stompa to Gargant to Great Gargant to Mega-Gargant, until they die from botched surjery or get blown apart in an unexpected explosion, and their machines are left to the Waaagh by logical, fair Ork succession ("I saw it first and I's bigga") and protected by the rigid codes of ownership ("get yer hands off or I'll frag ya, ya thieving gitz").

To the established Mekboyz, teef are almost unnecessary as a kurrency. Meks will happily trade gunz directly for loot and scrap. However, without the Orks' ability to produce their own kurrency, the footslogging Boyz would be unable to get their hands on shootas to begin with, and teef thus remove financial "class" in Ork society, replacing it with the far more natural hierarchy of kunnin' and who's da biggest.

2008-07-21T05:47:00.000-07:00

Mankind is 3 hot meals and 1 nights sleeplessness away from savagery.

2008-07-20T05:13:00.000-07:00

Even in the depths of the abyss, he will save us;
Even in the Valley of death, he will help us;
Even when all hope is gone, he will be there;
Even when there are no future, he will show us the way.

Our emperor the lord and savior, it is through him we earn our salvation. I am but an unworthy shod who wants a fair share of other's hard work. I am a nobody, trying to be somebody. No one believed in me except for him and he alone will justify my end. I failed him again and again. Am i that weak? Or it is just that i am pretending to be strong?

Soulless creature of the warp, I urge myself to end all, but i do not have any courage to face it. I have live without a soul, and am still living like this. I need a sign, having exhausted all the ways i know, and more that others taught. Am i just different? Or is there a piece of me lingering somewhere at the border of my sanity?

Sinking in, I see no light. The world is just a transition of light and darkness, evil replaces good, good replaces justice, there is no end to it, we could not escape it, it is our destiny to live among the stars, but still confine ourselves to this very planet, our holy terra, earth gaia.

Thoughts of the day: Light will overcome darkness and darkness will overcome it once more, the rhetorical cycle is but a plaything of the gods, we are just mere pawns that is playing this game of regicide.

Service Ceiling

2008-07-18T18:33:00.000-07:00

Every aircraft that is allowed to fly today will always have an service ceiling. That dictates how high the plane can go and its capabilities. Most aircraft will stall and flame out when reached their service ceiling. The F-15 eagle has a service ceiling of 20 km while the F-16 has a service ceiling of around 16km.

Reaching the service ceiling is not hard, but knowing what to do after that is a very challenging and sometimes fatal implication for any pilots. It is only the most skilled fighter pilot will know what to do after reaching the service ceiling and maneuver their aircraft to push their performance to the limit.

This week, I felt that i am an inexperience pilot, having reaching my service ceiling and knowing nothing of my situation. I stalled and crashed. I burst in flames. The G-force is so great that i forgot to eject form the aircraft, because i know i cant.

At least i went down i flame. That is all that matters. Luckily, i survived and going into a new aircraft next time round.

Zombified

2008-07-14T05:27:00.000-07:00

I think World War Z may be a reality. This time round, it is not Solunum but IB students. I will be the first to bite, watch out.

one leg kicking

2008-07-09T04:43:00.000-07:00

In the class, she kicked.

Again, and again.

I do not feel pain.

Is it some naughty trick, or was it unintentional.

Maybe my mind was too adrift to realized,

a small little accident.

I am a sensitive person they say.

The Descend

2008-07-07T08:12:00.000-07:00

He descended into the darkness, with nothing more than a light.

The rush of excitement, the dead silence.

He feel safe as he knows that he is covered by insurance and by people he trust.It is now the dead of night, or what it seems from his wrist watch.The freedom of looking at one's watch.

He has but only one purpose, to disarm the bomb. Spetznaz is train for such jobs. It would have been a daily job, your average breakfast with cereal, to him, of course.

If there is a difference, it might due to perhaps the nuclear bomb is live and maybe because that his team of navy seals and spetznaz have 500 square meters of probable area. Not that bad actually, they only have 4 hours left, according to the newest intelligence, not that bad....

His "Team" only consist of 200 naval divers, in a collaboration between the United States and the Russian Federation as the suppose nuclear device was planted between the Bering Straits and Alaska, but in a disputed area.

The only thing to stop a full scale search for the device is just politics and more politics. He thought to himself, politicians in Americans are such arrogant fools, only thought of themselves, only the military cares about their countries, to use whatever means "Be glorious, country! We take pride in you!" so say in the anthem.

They have a choice, and they choose duty, he choose duty. He is willing to sacrifice.

Airlock

2008-07-07T06:13:00.000-07:00

It is dark, very dark. I can see nothing, I can hear nothing, save for my oxygen cycle and the luminous marker in front of me.

I am trained for this, yet I am afraid. Dark cramp corner, I do not have space to bend my elbow, not to mention that particular itch on my glutous maximus. I could not reach it and i try to forget it. Still, there is no distraction and what i need to do is already drilled inside my mind, so well drilled, I have no distraction, except that itch. I am not drilled to prevent that. We are still human. All too human.

5 minutes is what the captain promised us, each one of us, before we put on that hefty pack, before we don our Kevlar suit, before the dry suit, before our last supper, it was MRE ration and there was light.

Darkness is what i have now, long period of darkness, a long 5 minutes. My watch is redundant, the one thousand Rubble redundant piece of Seiko time piece. Human arms, why are they so huge? I lost track of time and space, as there was none, no light, only an eerie sense of sight, through the face mask and the invisible hatch in front of me.

Damn Americans, I thought to myself, so this is their so-called torpedo tube. I started to miss Mother Russia, our Typhoons are so big that our recreational activity is swimming, not their game-box with an X on top. I failed to understand why the Americans stick to screens so much, but i understand why they are obese. America, America, America, if it were not for the Arabs Wahabis, I would not have to stuck in this cramped, miserable space.

Claustrophobic is not an excuse not be in the Spetznaz, we are the best of the best. Even a dog is better than the Americans. Our back flips, Systema, AK-47 and Vodka. I am proud of my country, i care not whether Stalin, Gorbachev or Putin, I am born in the motherland, Mother Russia, and all this i will bear for her.

Gushed out like vodka poured from a bottle into the warmth of the body. I am free again. Surprisingly gentle, I am free again, back boneless Americans, no wonder they need so many submarines to catch our Akulas.

I checked the Japanese innovation again, 4 minutes 59 seconds. Comrade Captain was right, I will be free again from the bondage of that miserable bourgeois tube. I am now in my second home, the Atlantic ocean.

Back again

2008-07-07T05:50:00.000-07:00

The past week has been a short and hard one, even though it is one more day than your average weekend.

Sometimes, I just could not care what i do in front of others. My childish behavior on Friday is one of the many cases one will encounter. I could blame it on the headache, on the imbalance hormone level, but i thing for sure that it is myself all along.

Luckily, I took the green form and go to the medical hall. I rested and felt much better.

Despite the rest, my brief down time did not stop me from going for scouts later that afternoon as well as the Chinese A2 lesson. I felt tired though, because i need to attend another camp organized by the Astronomy Club. Nothing much to see except for Jupiter which was set for auto tracking throughout the whole night.

Saturday is another thing together. I had Scouts (again) in the morning, helping the sec 3s for their first class camp. I was quite surprised that they still thinks that kindling works for everything. Too bad...the sec 4 did not teach them well enough.

Saturday afternoon is just with Jinpeng and friends. Made Jinpeng drink a wild turkey while i pretended that it is some Australian coke.....haha. Bourbon whiskey with cola for those who still do not have a club.

The highlight of the day is still the logging of the jewel box and the scorpion jewel box. Although i spotted a globular cluster that day, it is still not a official designated cluster yet. My first few DSO after orion nebula. pathetic but encouraging. Now, they are going to charge me $10 for all this.... ungrateful bastards....

The whole weekend is just messed up though, feeling tired and weak after everything, hope that i can survive kirannakaurus tomorrow.

Thats all for this week.

Thought of the day: Skin to the flesh, flesh to the bone, bone to the marrow.

2008-06-27T03:01:00.002-07:00

Exams are over and the venerable C-14 has been fixed! Praise our lord and savior the emperor!

Trying to be Different

2008-06-27T03:01:00.001-07:00

There will be a lot of problems with various solutions. Options sometimes are limitless. So, since the solution is limitless, why do we still limit ourselves to certain criteria at all the time?

A very common answer to the above question will be, i will only attempt solution from range A to range C because we will not be able to cope with other solution. Choices are made often without so much other options not considered. It may also because we made our choices due to the fact that there are outside influences, namely our society or community. The crowd mentality, since everyone is doing the same thing, why am i doing otherwise.

Always, humankind has been troubled by this kind of dilemma, to conform or not to conform. there are people who tried to conform, but to no avail, there are other to try not to conform, but fail hard. So, what exactly does the society want us to do?

Social rejection i believe is a reflection of how mature the society is. What the society rejects is what they do not want or accept (duh), so why do people reject each other? Is it that they cant stand people who thinks differently, or they felt that they are superior?

As a non-conformist, deep inside, I wish to break out from everything, enjoy a freedom, but as a human being, it is evident that i could not live without society yet when out society reject us, we do not know who to seek or what to do. Such were our dilemma that some of us tried to commit suicide and other nonsense (what i considered stupidity) instead of conforming to society norms*

Is it because our society lack the maturity to accept the idea of us being us? Or it it difficult for them to accept us as special persons? Why are the likes of us suffering quietly, only to laugh at our misfortune?

Are we that different? Regardless of race, language and religion. What they say is that people are not equal when they have different ideologies.

I am the coward, albeit the ultimate one. I hid in my own closet, dare not come come out because people will not accept my radical ideas. Trying to conform, such that some thinks that i am a conservative, while some thinks that i am an extremist from the other spectrum.

Who am i to complain? Standards, double standards, triple standards are all blocking all. Is our society that narrow such that properly dealing with us is useless? We are but fellow humans trying to survive, we think differently, but doesnt means that we do not have any rights.

In a sense, all that has been said to protect us is NATO (No Action Talk Only). Will there be any revelation to all of this madness?

I am but one torn in this multi standard world. I know that there might be no end to suffering from our kind, but there is always hope.

Am I so different that i scare everyone? Or I am just the irritating bugger that is not worth anything?

I live my own life, the one that i choose to have, my friends, although far and few in between understands our cause. In the end, we are still us. We do not conform.

*Society norms being a standard in the community where we spend most of our time.

Just another day

2008-06-26T04:54:00.000-07:00

Another day has passed, another day yet to come,
to all my exam, another after,
another worry, another calm,
another joy, another sorrow,
another angst, another fun,
another heartbreak, another wound heal,

My exams, one other another,
another, another, another,
another and important,
What they say, what we dont think,
What they want us, what we dont see,
What they urge to, what we dont care.

They just come one another,
after another, after another,
Do we ask? They dont tell,
Do we complain? They wont accept,
Do we stop? They will whip.
Is there an end? Only another.

The English Paper

2008-06-23T03:00:00.000-07:00

To my delight, the passage of the day was one from a Sci-Fi post apocalypse setting, definitely one of my favorite and Angela Carter's "Heroes and Villains" is one of the holy grail such fiction. I even had it in my ebook list. I understand why most people choose poetry as their topic but i felt that i have made the right choice. I think it is time to stop lamenting about how i should have wrote more but to focus on the maths and Chinese A2 paper coming soon.

Ezekiel

2008-06-22T06:48:00.000-07:00

He stopped.

With a lance in his heart, he stopped and knelt.

He bled, the black liquid flowing directly from his heart.

Then, he smiled.

Flashes.

He rouse and pulled the lance out, knowing full well that he cannot die from such flesh wound.

His second heart has not failed him, unlike any mortals, he is different. With a mighty shout from the combine forces of his three lungs, he screamed.

"Lupercal! lupercal! lupercal!"

The noble name of his father, the demigod, the most favorite son of the Emperor, Horus. Striking fear in any enemy that he has encountered, but not this one. The Dark Eldars, hedonistic Xeno life form, has no love for the concept of nobility and honor.

"Lunar wolves, to me! For the Emperor!"

Inhuman is what us mortals can describe the battle, for there are only mortals, watching from the orbit, in the comfort of man made plasteel and ferroglass.

The battle finished before it begun, the superhumans emerged victorious, as always, he thought.

"They shall be pure of heart and strong of body, untainted by doubt and unsullied by self-aggrandisement. They will be bright stars in the firmament of battle. Angels of Death whose shining wings bring swift annihilation to the enemies of Man. So it shall be for a thousand times a thousand years, unto the very end of eternity and the extinction of mortal flesh."

-Roboute Guilliman on the Space Marines

Images from ASPIRE

2008-06-21T08:43:00.000-07:00

Here are some photos that i took for ASPIRE camp, the campsite and the crane.

ASPIRE proper

2008-06-21T07:28:00.000-07:00

I think that it is time to have a full account of ASPIRE.

At first, it seemed that the ASPIRE camp requires every single candidate to be in the peak but through what i have been through, it is just holding it there and push through your comfort zone. I experienced pain and suffering but also learn a bunch from the scouting brothers from other schools.

Day 1 marks the beginning of the camp proper. Although the examiners came late, the candidates mingled with each other and out of a sudden i felt that i am not prepared. Initially, it struck me that what the examiners really wants is all the small details. Like my prepared equipment list saved them all the trouble of double checking my equipments and I felt a bit annoyed standing right there doing nothing saved for the brief moment that Mr Daniel bend down to check the expiry dates of my first aid kit. It turns out that the examiners seems to be on my side for dont know what reason. Perhaps myself being the only green candidate over there, without actually any tips and trick from my direct seniors.

Thus, the camp activity started. We did a run, some stationary exercises and a 10 lap swim. It is then the thoughts of giving up flashes through my mind. To my horror, I am not fit enough to take the camp, hence, from then on, my performance has been unsatisfactory to the point that every other candidate thinks that i am the weakest link and know my number and name by hard. After the PT session, we went on a hike, at first, it was 2 kilometers. Still quite ok as the activities at our destination is considered slack as we struggle to find checkpoint 7 during our orienteering activities. It was then followed by a hike, from Potong Pasir to Punggol, my turf.

The hike is rough and tiring, at least for me. I nearly threw up during the walk which i can only describe as intensive and hard. With the rest of the candidates pushing me hard in order to get me moving. I felt desolated at first, but ultimately, i got used to the pain. It is like there is a constant thud in my head and i was literally spinning. The only thought that is flashing in me is that of "Hey guys, tell the examiners that i am pulling out." Still, for some unknown reason, i pressed on, maybe inspired by an earlier post that i promise myself. Note to myself, eat more food before camps, as one needs a lot of energy. Even then, it is better to throw up something other than water, at least you wont get choked on it.

Upon reaching the checkpoint, I was quite relieved that it is really my turf, the one that i spend at least three days staying. I love the spot, the unofficial ACS(I) turf in our very own punggol forest. Overjoyed, I gobbled up all the food that is given to us. Well, most of us are hungry and thirsty anyway. The fun part is still trying to built the crane and the stairs, while the rest of my patrol is in a frenzy of building our crane, I started to chop wood randomly, like seriously randomly. Partly because i had started to hallucinate because of the high intensity activity that we have been through. I started to see things, think and heard distractive things. At least i managed to chop down a major tree and built a bridge for all to see. That is at least what i could do without injuring myself and maintained a clear mind. My only goal at that time.

Without realizing, time has crawled, walked and flew away, day break, everyone's dream. The crane taking form and our shelter getting up. It was satisfying that the crane has taken its shape and our shelter forming. Then, I built my tried and tested elevated fire place and started our first fire. I can still remember the fresh scent of the firewood, the wetness of the floor and all the pesky ants and mosquito. All seems so familiar.....yes.....survival instructorship course, except this time i am surrounded by professionals, not amateurs like what i have been to.

Stove cooking is what i considered fun and did not make a mess out of it. The noodle is unsatisfactory though, the ever presenting egg smell is just plain disgusting, without enough sauce to properly seasoned it, the noodle is nothing but a experiment go horribly wrong. At least it is still edible in the end. the other food had a lousy taste as we are not given enough stuff to make our food better, despite what i felt, the examiners hinted a satisfactory to good reply to my team's food, fried Kang Kong with Egg, Fishball Noodle and Salt Fried Chicken.

After lunch, it was what everyone dreaded the most, the Situation Response Initiative Test, SRIT for short. Mr Delwin said that it will be a sudden event that will catch everyone off guard but everything seems to be easy, too easy. I love one particular scenario that have a whole cannibal tribe chasing after us and we have to climb through an electric fence. That owns everything that i thought of ASPIRE. Despite that, I got the Medivac scenario, hauling a guy from our camp site is no joke. Tiring but satisfied, we continued on to our next activity, gathering wood for out backwoods man that evening.

A particular thing worth noting is that out of a sudden, everyone disappears. Leaving their parangs behind. Prompting Mr Spencer Phang to confiscate every single knife he saw. That includes my survival kit, which i dont really used save for the matches inside, luckily, i brought my matches along to test out the kindling, which works,despite the suppose exposure due to a hole. It works despite the slightly damp condition which bolster my confidence in backwoodsman. I was quite jealous though, My Spencer Sharpens a few of the blunt confiscated knives, but at least i got my trusty blade with me around, and it is not exactly mine but a junior', still, the camp begins to brighten up, despite the strain and stresses i had earlier.

Backwoodsman was eventful as it took me 4 matches to light my fire, so a immediate zero for fire starting. I was utterly demoralized as i excel at starting fires, i felt defeated. Although the fire was beautiful upon the fourth match, I feel giddy as morale, is important to this situation. In the end, I managed to make every single item given to us edible and actually tasty for some. My barbecue chicken is what a chicken should be like, wood scent and succulent. My rice is good as it is like fully cooked although there are still some bullet rice, a term i learn from the examiners.

Later that night was the survival night where we are only required to make only a trap, food procurement and water collection. I did badly due to some incident that Mr Spencer Phang say that it is better to keep to myself. I think it is better for me to forget what i say and move on. Those kind of things is also demoralizing for the camp.

Surprisingly, i was allowed to sleep for three hours, to shake off what i saw. During that time, i missed out quite a lot and i considered myself failing the camp already, trying to complete my only hope, the pig spear and a few half hearted attempts at gathering food and water. All is lost.

After clearing up, we were sent to HQ and thus the end of ASPIRE 2008 first intake. It was an eventful camp whereby i have place under physical and mental strain but i felt that i have overcome them, reaching my limit on the second night.

We rest to make a far longer journey, as i rest, i wish that i would push myself even further to accommodate future challenges, as well as other surprises along the way. It is a personal journey, and how it ends depends on myself. to achieve, one has to sacrifice, by ever means, enjoy life, enjoy friends and enjoy yourselves. We only have one life, for though living life to the fullest that we can be in awe.

Well, that was my journey, for all those little one out there, treat this camp as a crucible of all your scouting skills and your inner mettle. It is through suffering we know where we stand and the will be no gain without pain.

Teenage Angst

2008-06-20T00:38:00.000-07:00

I had a friend who is troubled, and i tried to reconcile with him but to no avail. I am troubled myself back then, but not anymore. After a certain traumatic experience, suffering has gotten a better part of me and i will feel nothing from now on.

There was a boy who is frustrated at life, or it seems.... Then, myself, as a friend tried to help....Although blessed is a mind too small to doubt, I began to realized what he is experiencing, things i could not understand because of my training. I thus began the journey to reach him.

I went through my comfort zone, seeking what he is describing but could not see how things work out. Although not depressed, I felt defeated, the absence of this knowledge of what others see as normal for teenagers. I am not normal. Everything has become too objective to me, there is no such thing as friendship nor love in my concept. I am cold hearted, seeking only result but not any thing else.

I tried to do something about it but my lackluster effort has failed more than once. There is nothing i can talk to him about now. Teenage angst, what art thou?

Walking through the path, trying to understand, i could not, I feel no pain anymore, where everyone thought that i will. People don't understand me, at all. Perhaps i seek to be understood? Or to be more human than before. My depression is but a result of my inner hedonism working its way towards the surface, is it what i am suppose to feel? Or is it something more?

Question in life that i may not answer nor ignore, but what am i in the face of the deathless void? Am i to succumb to those around me or do i profess in my personal code? I seek to be honor bound, but there is always sacrifices to what i deemed honorable. Are those necessary to protect those i deemed worthy, or do i go aloft, ignoring and be oblivious?

My friends out there, do not misunderstood that i do not care nor listen, I am there for all to reach, for myself have experience the pain but turn to a more solemn path as i allow things to get a better part of myself. I do not revere emotion, but i do know how was it like before. I am a person from the past, not in the present but the future.

I drift, I sway, but i am still myself, the lupercal howling in the night, when there is no pain, there is no progression, it is through hardship we advance, to see the light, we have to bath ourselves in darkness in order to see the importance of it.

I listen, but not flaunt, all my undoings is just a show. I only listen until i deemed it is necessary to act. Action will always be louder than words, there is just another hole waiting to be filled.

Lupercal, what i am really, the lone wolf bath in the moon light, the lunar wolf. There is no teenage angst, there is just calmness in the raging sea.

Unrequited Dream

2008-06-17T06:28:00.000-07:00

Walking in the shadow of the valley,
There was no light.

Trying to walk out of the shadow,
I see no way.

When pressing on towards the end,
I lost my way.

In the moment of lost and despair,
Then she was there.

She was elegant and fragile but
I did not care.

She was 18 and i was ten,
I will be trained.

Such was the fate of a unrequited dream,
I lost my soul.

She is everything to me,
My hope and despair.

My dream would never come true,
to preserve her smile.

Post ASPIRE blues

2008-06-16T08:31:00.000-07:00

It is good that i am recovering fast, i think by tommorrow i will be in full productivity. I will then lay my fingers on my art pieces as well as my other stuff at hand. More importantly, my exams and IOP. As for TOK, I will do it at a later date, but for business IA, that one i am not too sure about it.... I think i should ask someone else for guidance...

Prayer

2008-06-12T21:25:00.000-07:00

Just before the ASPIRE camp, I would like to dedicate this for the lord emperor as he has been watching over me. A prayer before the storm.

My lord emperor, you are ever present in my heart and soul, grant me the strength and wisdom that is required to overcome this obstacles. It may be hard, i know as you have always said if the journey is easy, the destination is worthless. Thank you lord to allow me to realize it's meaning at the fullest and hope that I will strive to achieve in you name and your name shall be the guide and beacon in the time of hardship and desolation. Thank you lord for granting me the peace of the mind and the strength to push me forward as i will utilize this to glorify your name. May you grant me the courage and calmness when facing challenges, the coolness of the head and rational thoughts in the presence of severe stress, may you remind me not to over exert myself and to keep pace with the camp.

Thank you lord for the blessing that you have showered upon me, in the name of the most immortal emperor, AMEN.

Pressing on

2008-06-12T21:17:00.000-07:00

If there is uncertainty ahead of us,
We press on.

If there are obstacles hindering us,
We press on.

If there are hardship and suffering,
We press on.

Even if there is no hope,
We press on make our mark against fate.

Even there are traitors and enemies resisting and pulling us down,
We press on and destroy them.

What do we press on for?
For the emperor and he alone watches over us while we achieve.

ASPIRE

2008-06-12T21:14:00.000-07:00

Today will be mark as my first ASPIRE camp. I am quite excited about it as rumors of it being very demanding has been flying ever since. Those who have experience it have different opinions about the camp but i think i can pull it through. It is just mind over matters.

2008-06-10T18:39:00.001-07:00

Once upon a time, there were a lion and a tiger.

ASPIRE SRIT

2008-06-10T18:27:00.000-07:00

So the ASPIRE camp is coming soon and the SRIT is driving me mad.

Although it can be summed up to those below, I still need to mug hard as well as learn 40 plus knots in a day or two.

Situation to check conscious then CPR standard procedure, after which the rapid body survey which life threatening injury must be treated first and then to dress minor wound. Depending on the situation, it is either to left the victim in recovery position to wait for a recovery team or to evacuate the victim to reach the recovery team.

I think i am quite prepared for this camp if not for the bad weather, i can bring 4 less kilograms of equipments. Oh well, till then, the emperor protects.

Under No roof camp

2008-06-09T22:50:00.000-07:00

Surely, the Under No Roof Camp provided me with a all new experience of getting into a situation that is familiar yet different altogether. The familiar experience will be that of sleeping under no proper shelter which I have experience through Scouting and Astronomy, yet, it is not familiar because I am sleeping with those who are more inexperience than myself, thus, things does not go according to what i really wish, deep inside.

Me reason for the camp is actually to prep myself to the upcoming ASPIRE as well as testing out my body to certain situation, mainly how to clear sleep hormones in the fastest way possible, how to "fire up" from a sedentary mode and keep it there. Sometimes, it is necessary to possess some of these skills which might be useful in life.

In a way, I saw how "normal" people react under a certain condition, mainly those of the outdoor survival situation. Most of them will whine and complain and most often than not compare their current condition to those that they are use to. In this regard, i will actually think about the worst off condition that i have been through in order to push on. To bring the best out of myself.

Resting cycles is also another important learning point as I found out that missing a certain resting cycle will cos a person's judgment and language skills to go haywire. In another way, I found out that by doing certain stuff, one can remain awake but i would not delve on that for the time being as it involve some illegal action.

Although my group did not win anything for this competition, I think we can become better person by empathizing the real needs of the people who is living in the slums and such. My visits last time round although better than the condition that we had in the camp, it is still better not to assume that living conditions cannot get worst.

Hmm....anything else....oh ya....I think that Jasmine is a nice girl though....but i must always remind myself the purity of purpose. Oh bothers....

Stars

2008-06-05T07:23:00.000-07:00

Is it Arcturus in front or is it just betelgeuse.
No,
My dream, my imagination.....

All is lost,
No stars, no nebula, no galaxies
My fault, my mistake

Is there such a thing as a Sombrero?
Or is it just things i made up,
they made up?

Is there only a society of alberts?
Or people are just being sensitive?
I wonder .....

To swim in the sea of ocean is my dream,
to dive, to sleep no more,
this is a consummation with shards of stars piercing,
My lungs and liver.

In this world of stars,
there is,
but a little nebula,
awaiting to be discovered and rediscovered.

Will there be a end?
Or the universe be forever expanding?

There is no answer,
to this stupid little question.

To question the impossible,
let not just waste time,
and just rest.

Depression

2008-06-04T23:33:00.000-07:00

I get depress easily. Especially when i lose money.

Auntie just threw away the annual report and my precious astro bible......

I feel depress.....

2008-06-04T06:38:00.000-07:00

Once again, I am going back to Singapore after a relatively short break. During this period, I have perfected the art of stoning in front of my com, downloading every types of files imaginable. Ebooks, music albums, videos, and such.

My ride is at 3 a.m. in the morning for fear of the rumored nation wide riots that is going to happen when they increase the fuel prices. That pak lah is going down, right after this.

Malaysia is a good place to live in, plenty of resources, plenty of chio bu and plenty of pirated DVDs. Food is good here and living is relaxed and carefree. The only thing I cant stand basically boils down to two major types of people, politicians who dont give a fuck about their country and those people supporting them in order to gain profit out of their stupidity.

I am officially criticizing the BN government and those who want to use the ISA to catch me, bring it on. I got friends in the Singapore Commandos and I dare you to catch me.

Oh bothers...., of to pack my stuff and to have a match with my brother.

In conclusion for today and thought of the day for next week,

To insist on one's place in the scheme of things and to live up to that place.
To empower others in their reaching for some place in the scheme of things.
To do these things is to make fairy tales come true.

A Scholar, Leader and Global Citizen

2008-06-02T00:05:00.000-07:00

Our glorious school, Anglo-Chinese School (Independent) have this great motto to help us to be a great people among the finest in the world.

Thus, our motto, a scholar, leader and global citizen.

As an Acsian, I am proud that i have fulfilled all of the above criteria:

As a scholar, I know how to present myself in a myriad of exotic languages, important phrases such as "F**k your M*****", "S**T" and "F**k you" in Tamil, Hindi, Chinese, Hokkien, Bahasa Indonesia, Bahasa Melayu, Vietnamese, English, German and French. I have to thank all those great friends from great nations all across the world for this trait.

As a leader, I can say "F**k you" to chairman of the astronomy club and he could not do anything. Leadership is important and will be enhanced when you have big machete with you all the time. Although leading a gang fight is often portrayed as ungentlemanly, it is okay as it is what the motto on the other side says which we dont give a damn.

As a global citizen, I know how to use the international hand sign if given the opportunity, especially to the peers of our neighboring school, the UWC. Adding to that, I will use the aforementioned hand sign during photo shoots to promote racial harmony.

As a result, I felt that my stay in ACS(I) has been fruitful as I have restrained myself from using phrases from one single language and when to use the international hand sign appropriately. It is ok to protest against this post especially you have your own gang.

2008-05-29T10:19:00.001-07:00

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An original idea by B. Bacher, with a bit of help from a few friends...
From: Børge Berg-Olsen
Y'ALL KEWL BOMB DOODZ
(from Jon Singer and Michael Butler)

(taken from Pyro Joe's Hot Flashes, pp 137-151)

Now, kids, it's tahm ta talk about dee-layed gratification.

....

Here's one that'll tickle ya pink! (Also black & blue if ya stand around
it too long. Take a hint from ol' Joe.)

'menny Whut is it Where d'ya git it

1 1 inch cube of 90% Palladium any good hardware store
with 10% Titanium should have it

1 4 inch length of gold wahr steal from yore sister's
earrin's

5 gallons heavy water, with 10% steal frum Navy base
DTO (th' "Jolt" version, or borry frum naybors.
heh heh.)

1 cup Lithium Lye, with Deuterium, war surplus store
USGummint #3039924057394XD

1 1 to 3 volt, 30 amp pahr splah hell, bild it, use
pappy's arc welder,
or whutever.

1 special currint reggalater bild it.
(figger 3, end of chapter)

1 Kickass(tm) 8 week ain'tchoo gotta hardware
timer or equiv'lint bin? Call up Bud's
Scientific Splah.
Don't let on whut
it's for.

1 big moonshahn crock, with lid. c'mon, ya gotta know
where ta git basics!

Plus th' usual wahr an' stuff, as requahred.

How d'ya do it, Joe?

Wal, ya find a ol' shack on a hill somewheres that still got pahr goin'
to it. (Elsewise, ya gots ta use a whole lotta ol' truck
batt'ries, which is tuff ta hump around.) Put th' crock in th' shack,
and pour th' Jolt water inta it. Stir in th' Lithium Lye, slow
an' careful. Don't splash none, an' don't add th' stuff too quick, now.
Cover it real taht, so's ya don't lose too much. Y'all
don't wanna hafta sneak inta th' navybase again, do ya? Them guys got
guns & stuff and they ain't afraid ta use it.

So, ennyway, see, ya bild the pahr splah, an' ya bild th' currint
reggalater in figger 3 at th' end of th' chapter, the one with
the special shunt cirkit fer changin' the currint. Thet's whar th'
Kickass tahmer goes. Test it ta be sure that th' current starts
at about 30 amps and goes down ta 10 or 15 when th' tahmer goes off.

Bild th' other stuff lahk in figger 2. Cart th' whole mess down ta th'
shack, and put th' bizniz end inta the Jolt water. Don't
leave th' lid off too long, now. Cover it up good, an' duck tape it,
specially th' place wher the wahrs come out. Ah got me
some motorcycle ground strap, which is read'ly avail'ble an' flat, so it
don't queer up the fit o' the lid. Bolt the straps down
real secure, an' put vaseline on th' bolts.

Now, set th' Kickass tahmer fer 8 weeks, plug th' pahr splah in, make
sure ya got 30 amps, an' take a hike.

'Member, neutrons ain't yer frens. Keep ol' Blue away from th' shack
unless ya want two-headed puppies runnin' around
eatin' too much, probly worrit yore mom no end, an' if ya gotta go in
ther ta check, don't stay long. Ya want ol' Joe's
advice, after around 7 weeks, don't go in ther atall.

This hear makes a real 'hot flash', an' in fact, it's whut this book is
named fer. Y'all kin see th' flash from a couple mahls
away, raht through th' av'ridge wall, so don't go bildin' it in yer
basemit. Got thet? No need ta keep it too close ta home,
raht? Ya kin get caught with it if it's too close. Besides, ya don't
want yer sister fahndin' out wher her earrin's got off ta. She
probly woont lahk it, an' she'll make ya cut her in on the deal.
'Course, thet maht not be too bad, if she's good with a
soldrin' ahrn. Probly bilds good pahr splahs, an that's importunt ta
this 'hot flash'.

Ah got trouble, Joe. Now whut?

Whut happen Whut ta do

ya hair falls out Dummy! I tol' ya not ta stan' aroun' up
in hanks close-lahk! Thow away yer clothin', an'
take lots o' shahrs. Eat some vitamin E,
an' call th' doc ef'n it don't stop in
a spell.

red skin & funny spots same thing.

juice won't drop to shunt circuit screwed up, or ya bought a cheap
10-15 amps tahmer. Don't bah you no cheap tahmers!

no flash after 8 th' Authority mebbe cut yer pahr. Wait 2 more
weeks is gone bah weeks an' then check fer pahr at the wall
sockit.
Ef thet don't work, check the pahr splah. Ah
tol' ya yer sister probly bild it better then
you, ya shoulda listened. Also check th'
tahmer. 'Member whut ah sed about cheap ones!

Big wet spot ya crock leak? If no leaks, check the roof. If
the roof leaks, don't worrit yerself. If th'
crock leaks, fix it quick.

'lectrode turns brown probly yer Lithium Lye is contaminatid. Ya can
give it up, or start over.

runs hot only happins once in a whahl. Swipe Grampa's
ol' still-tubin', an' make lahk a li'l still
coil with it. Jes' run th' outlet back inta
the crock. Duck tape the whole mess real good.
If thet ain't enuf, use a truck radiater.
Don't drink the stuff, neither! Taste lahk
hell, take it from one that knows.

Y'all have fun, now. Ef ya hit the sweet spot, th' hill will glow fer
munths. Thet means you done real good! Set up a "myst'ry
spot" sahn, an' charge th' city folks a dollar a look.

Yore Frend,

Joe

2008-05-29T10:17:00.001-07:00

1. In the beginning there was nothing, then something went wrong.[Murphy's
Law]
2. The empty set contains and is contained within all other
sets.[Fibonacci's Rule]
3. Universe has no plural.
4. Space is nothing.
5. Time is an abstraction.
6. Energy is the opposite of mass.
7. Energy is not effected by gravity.
8. In order for two points to exist, a third point must exist between them.
9. Less than enough is not sufficient, more than enough is not necessary.
10.Enough is a finite quantity.
11.That which has been done is not impossible.
12.Pythagoras trisected an angle.
13.Mathematics is a set of languages providing different ways to describe
reality.
14.Statistical norms are not real integers even when they are whole
numbers.
15.A line representing a continuous function contains no discrete elements.
16.A "Field" is a continuous static structure extending to infinity.
17."Field Lines" are mathematical constructs having no existence.
18.Reality is what it is irrespective of description.
19.Ptolomy was believed because his math was correct and it worked.
20.The "Plane of the Elliptic" is perpendicular to and centered upon the
Barycenter of the Solar System (or any other system).
21.All orbits are planes of ecliptic.
22.The eccentricity of an orbit is proportional to the deviation from the
perpendicular to the path of the center of mass. [Kepler's 4th Law]
23.The Earth does not revolve around the Sun, the Sun and the Earth revolve
around the center of mass.
24.There is no error in the orbit of Mercury.
25.A measured value is the sum of its contributing elements.
26.The specific computed values of the elements do not change the measured
sum.
27.The measured gravity of the Sun was the same after Einstein as before.
28.The bending of light observed near a star is thermal reflection, a
mirage.
29.Velocity is measured at two different times, not on two different
objects.
30.A zero based measurement is required to know the value of measured
variables.
31.The "Aberration of Light" is the same in a column of water as it is in a
column of air.
32. The velocity of light is constant in all media.
33. The aberration of light is a measure of the Earth's absolute velocity.
34. Light is a spherical wave containing no particles.
35. The outside of a wave has more degrees of freedom than the middle, the
inside has fewer.
36. As a wave expands outward from its' source, it expands outward from its'
middle, a red shift.
37. The further away it is, the greater the red shift, coming or going.

38. The energy required to operate a mechanism increases with velocity
while the available energy decreases.

39. There is nothing new here, it's all old stuff. You must get the old
stuff right before you can benefit from the new. D.MURPHY - HCEZJCIA

2008-05-29T10:16:00.001-07:00

Furgeson and the Unified Field Theory

In the beginning there was Aristotle
And objects at rest tended to remain at rest
And objects in motion tended to come to rest
And God saw that it was boring, although very restful.

Then God created Newton
And objects at rest tended to remain at rest
And objects in motion tended to remain in motion
And energy was conserved, and momentum was conserved,
And matter was conserved
And God saw that it was conservative.

Then God created Einstein
And everything was relative
And fast things became short
And straight things became curved
And the universe was filled with inertial frames
And God saw that it was relatively general
but some of it was especially relative.

Then God created Bohr
And there was the principle
And the principle was quantum
And all things were quantified
But some things were still relative
And God saw that it was confusing.

Then God was going to create Furgeson
And Furgeson would have unified
And he would have fielded a theory
And all would have been one.
But it was the seventh day
And God rested
And objects at rest tend to remain at rest.

Crazed Physics Questions

2008-05-29T10:13:00.001-07:00

1] A shotgun shooting 12 pellets of 00 Buckshot weighing 4g leave the
barrel at 1125 fps. Assuming the average infant will absorb 127.3 f/lbs
before disintegrating, how many babies will the average blast cut
through (rounding off to the nearest whole number)?

eight.

2] A 100 kg man is being swung by his entrails in a circle 16'in radius
at the rate of 1600 radians/sec. Find the tension in the man's entrails
(ignoring the effects of gravity).

65,024 Newtons.

3] A pagan priest attempts to vaporize a young virgin by placing her in a
flaming pit. Assuming the woman, weighing 120 lbs, is completely
composed of water, how much energy will he have to use to completely
vaporize her?

130,000 BTU

4] An infant has a tensile strength of 400 psi and has a cross
sectional area of 23.4 sq. inches. Assuming it is 23" long and has an
elongation percentage of .0036%/120psi at roomtemperature, how long will
the baby be before it is dismembered?

about 26.45 inches.

5] A 12 year old blind orphan girl is shot from a cannon at the speed
of 1200 fps at a solid brick wall. Calculate the force of impact given
that the brick wall is 3 feet away from the barrel.

if she weighs 50 lbs, and all of her sticks to the wall,
3.3 million Newtons.

6] A large plane weighing 12.7 M tons carrying 12 tons of nuns and
orphans travelling at 724.46 kph and at an altitude of 40,000 meters
suffers explosive decompression above the center of a 30km diameter
population. Assuming that one passenger is sucked out every second, how
many passengers will land within the population center?

about (give or take a torso or leg) 12.

7] A 1000 lb car is moving at 130 mph and two poodles whose combined
weight is 82 lbs are thrown out the back at 3 mph. Calculate the
velocity of the car.

140.91 happy mph.

8] Farmer Brown is selling apples for 12 cents a dozen in a room where
a torch has a brightness of 120 candela is 12 ft froma 14.36 sq meter
surface.Assuming a light bulb 17.3 cubits fromthe surface has a
brightness of 129 candlepower and gives offheat of 1.27 BTU and the room
is 423 degrees Kelvin; assuming thethe pressure in the room is 1100
millibar; assuming the lightbulb is rotating at 4 pi radians per half
minute, with the power source of the bulb a battery giving off energy at
a rate of 12000000 terajoules per exasecond; assuming the coefficient
offriction at the base of the rotating lightbulb is 1.679 E9;assuming
the room is being launched at 50 times escape velocity;assuming it
collides with the moon in a perfectly elastic collision, when the room
returns to the earth 6 days 4 hours 20 minutes 35 seconds and 12
nanoseconds later, how much does Farmer Brown sell one apple for?

still one cent, but all thats left is well-done applesaus,

2008-05-29T09:30:00.000-07:00

She is everything to me,
The unrequited dream,
The song that no one sings,
The unattainable.
She's a myth that I have to believe in,
All I need to make it real is one more reason.

I don't know what to do,
I don't know what to do when she makes me sad.

But I won't let this build up inside of me.
I won't let this build up inside of me.
I won't let this build up inside of me.
I won't let this build up inside of me.

On the subject of Pluto

2008-05-28T21:33:00.001-07:00

Pluto Gets Downsized

Prague - The international committee of astronomers decided this week
to remove Pluto from the list of planets. A spokesman released this
statement, "We're awfully sorry to have to let Pluto go, but this
restructuring is necessary to move this solar system forward. We've got
to tighten our asteroid belt and make difficult decisions. We've really
enjoyed working with Pluto in the past and wish it no ill will. We look
on this event as a great opportunity to revitalize our system."

Behind the scenes however, things were reportedly more heated. Rumors
abound that Pluto orbited slower than other planets, often appearing
sluggish and possibly intoxicated. Some have reportedly complained
about off color jokes directed at Uranus. Lawsuits by several asteroids
demanding inclusion in the solar system reportedly also motivated the
committee to take a hard line on planet definition. An original plan to
use the world "Pluton" was rejected by their lawyers as demeaning and
discriminatory.

Others have defended Pluto, claiming the decision to downsize was based
on unjust discrimination. One anonymous insider claimed, "It's a new
solar system, and if you're not wearing rings, or you're too small,
you're just not flashy enough for the kids today. Besides, the
committee was always uncomfortable with the attraction between Pluto
and its long-term partner, Charon. It's just prejudice I tell you."

Pluto's press agent released this statement, "While Pluto is saddened
by this turn of events, it's not bitter, rather Pluto looks on this as
an opportunity to explore new and exciting projects."

Deep Sky Person

2008-05-28T21:15:00.000-07:00

You know you're a Deep Sky person when...

1. ... you consider the moon a major annoyance.

2. ... you consider Jupiter 'light pollution'.

3. ... you spend most of your time looking at or for objects you can
barely see.

4. ... your favorite objects are objects you can barely see.

5. ... you enjoy looking at faint fuzzies with the smallest possible
aperture.

6. ... you enjoy looking at faint fuzzies with the largest possible
aperture.

7. ... you like to choose objects that are easier to imagine than to
see.

8. ... your observing schedule demands that you search for objects in
twighlight.

From:Jay Reynolds Freeman (freeman-despamifier#NoSpam.netcom.com)

9. ...you keep thinking that if only the stars would go away, it
might really get dark.

10. ...you wonder how your favorite objects missed getting included
in the New General Catalog or the Index Catalog.

11. ...you're not sure that anything in this solar system counts as
astronomy any more.

12. ...you're amazed that anyone needs artificial light to read charts.

13. ...you could do a Messier Marathon from memory, if you still bothered
with Messier objects.

14. ...you can read all the NGC abbreviated visual descriptions without
using the key, but you have to be careful not to cheat by just
remembering what things look like.

15. ...you view a major earthquake as an opportunity for a close-in
dark-sky star party.

16. ... you are attending a major star party (guess which one), and you
ask the organizers to turn down the Milky Way.

17. ...You believe M13 ruined your dark adaptation

18. ... You observe M42 at the _end_ of the sessions because it DOES ruin
dark adaptation!

19. ...Your choice of a new vehicle is determined by the size of your
scope.

20. ...Vacation time is planned around the Winter and Texas (or other)
Star parties.

21. ...Arp is not a funny sound, but the name of one of your favorite
galaxy catalogues.

22. ...You challenge friends by saying .."Lets do something stupid" ..as
you hunt for deep sky objects on a hazy, full-moon nite because you are
faint-photon starved.

23. ...You find auroras a complete anoyance because they ruin sky contrast
and dark adaptation.

24. ...you memorize the NGC, PGC, UGC, MCG, & ESO catalogs and can recite
type and magnitude off the top of your head when asked "What is NGC
3748?"

25. ...Your ideal site would require oxygen.

26. ...Your ideal vacation would be in Namibia, but...

27. ...Your ideal telescope would be immovable.

28. ...You take deep-sky pictures during a total eclipse of the moon.

29. ...You bitch about severe light pollution when the limiting magnitude
is "only" 6.5.

30. ...you prep your eyes by applying pupil dilating drops until they open
to 10mm...

31. ...when you have elective surgery to replace your eye's natural lenses
with f/0.8, oil-spaced, apochromatic triplet objectives designed by Roland
Christen...

32. ...You wear red sunglasses all day in preparation for viewing that
night.

33. ...You wear an eyepatch during the viewing session.

34. ...You paint the LED's on your equipment with red fingernail polish so
that they are dimmer.

35. ...You always set your scope up so that you can't move your car until
daylight.

36. ...You bring a gallon of coffee (or 12 pack of Diet Coke) to the
viewing session. If the caffeine doesn't keep you awake the urge to "go"
does.

37. ...Night lights are a nuisance in your house.

38. ... You talk out loud to yourself all night long to hoping to keep the
skunks away.

40. ... You welcome (and have even considered instigating) power cuts, but
only if they occur on clear moonless nights.

41. ...You pay $3500 for a pupil enlargement operation even though you own
1 1 m light bucket.

42. ... you remove the LED on your drive control panel, because THAT ruins
your dark adaptation!

43. ...in preparation for another DSO bout, you carefully massage your eyes
to make sure all your rods are discharged.

44. ...you actually know how to USE setting circles

45. ...you consider the milky way 'light pollution'

46. ...you actually USE 'uranometria', and can quote page numbers

46 1/2. you frequently disagree with Burnhams, and have seriously
considered publishing your OWN "observer's guide"

47. ...you see absolutely no value in using a Telrad

48. ...your principal finder scope is larger than 80mm

49. ...you consider 15 minutes to be a 'quick' exposure

50. ...you see more DSOs on your laptop screen during an evenings'
observing session than you do through the eyepiece

51. ...you have seriously considered starting up your own anti-sattelite
lobby

52. ...'What meteor? Was it THAT good? Shucks, I missed it again'

53. ...you consider meteors 'light pollution'

54. ...you actually know where to get billberry jam, and make a point of
consuming some prior to observing sessions.

55. ...you've been thinking that a 14th century black monk's hood is a
pretty cool idea

56. ...you have blackened the edges of your eyeglasses

57. ...the domelight of your car is painted red

58. ...You are briefly taken aback by the brightness of a normal flashlight
under "normal flashlight" circumstances (power outages, e.g.)

59. ...You think GM's Daytime Running Lights are some kind of evil alien
scheme.

60. ...You can make ten trips lugging equipment back and forth across a cow
pasture without stepping on a single cow pie (using only the illumination
of that garishly bright Milky Way to guide you.)

61. ...You consider the HII regions of distant galaxies as individual
observing targets.

62. ...You wear sun screen during full moon periods

63. ...You wear sun glasses during full moon periods

64. ...You're caught by the police climbing light poles at night trying to
"unscrew" the bulbs.

65. ...You complain you can't really see the faint stuff because the
Gegenschein is too bright.

66. ...You consider how to blow-up the SUN in order to reduce light
pollution...

67. ...hire a crop duster to spray the surrounding area because
last night the fire flies kept ruining your dark adaptation.

68. ...you keep a cross-index of stuff that you have looked at on 3x5 file
cards organized by object catalog number, so you can easily find your
logged observations of any specific object.

69. ...most of your friends think that is a bit much.
(with apologies to Jay!)

70. ...you have logged M51 and M57 and it isn't even really dark yet.

71. ...you think about how to smash the nearby streetlight without getting
caught.......or you think about how much the penalty would be for smashing
the nearby street lamp.

72. ...you begin to realize that even the deepest red flash light is
affecting your vision.

73. ...if you are a permanent eye glass wearer) you plan to get your
glasses fully multi-coated or get new ones made of ED glass.

74. ...you ask your eye doctor if it is possible to get the lenses in you
eyes fully multi-coated.

75. ... you ask you eye doctor if it is possible to get the lens in your
eyes enlarged.

76. ...You use an infrared flashlight.

77. ...You ask your neighbors over to star gaze, so they will know to turn
out their porch lights.

78. ...while spot checking the collimation of your dob, you note that with
concentration you can just begin to detect spiral structure in the dust
coating your primary.

79: ...You drive a thousand miles with no sleep, to sit in the darkest area
you can find, with no sleep, with a bunch of people who haven't slept for
days either, just to look for the faintest of all fuzzies! ;-)

81. ...You can understand what someone talking with a flashlight in their
mouth is saying!

82. ...You park your car in the driveway because the garage isn't big
enough to store both the car an your telescope.

83. ...You think the best reason to stop smoking is that the glow of the
cigarette hurts your dark adaptation*.

84. ...you look upon a total solar eclipse as an opportunity to break the
current record for the most DSOs observed visually by a ground based
amateur in the daytime.

85. ...Lying on the living room floor you try to pick out detail in the
dust bunnies under the sofa.

86. ...when at new moon all your duties are neglected.

87. ...When you have two Collins I3 Pieces for your binoviewer.

88. When your main criterion for retirement is a dark sky home.

89. ...you print out and keep all the "You know you're a Deep Sky person"
posts for reference!

Venture Cord Hike

2008-05-28T18:59:00.000-07:00

Hi guys, I failed Venture Cord Hike before it started! I think there is no one more epic than this.

Believing again

2008-05-22T18:35:00.000-07:00

Have I not done enough? or I have overdone it?

"Steak Medium rare, please."

"Not having your usual well done, sir?"

"Not today,not today."

There is a certain perfection in an in-perfection.The perfect flaw. so, what i am. In the quest for perfection, I have lost myself, to myself.

People told me, you have to believe in yourself. I did. I am content. Still, I do not quite take into consideration of others. Others might not accept my views. I knew exactly what they are thinking but i choose not to conform.

Why is the society so weak? Always seek to conform. Are they not mindless drones who will feast on human flesh? Yet, it is through the mindlessness that they achieve the purity of purpose.

We seek purity, and we are to be pure in the mind. We seek purity and perfection, others seek something eternal. Is there a life after death? Or that we are made to believe that there is?

To believe in something that is abstract, worshiping ideas. So, do we need to leave a mark behind, or just a blood stained cement floor where we die a violent death?

Sometimes, we need to conform, sometimes we do not. We are the perfect living things because we are flawed. It is through in-perfection that we are ourselves. Sometimes, why do we believe that things can be perfect, are we forced to? or is there a choice?

We have a choice, they say, the choice between to believe in them and to believe in them. That is the choice that they give us and there are no other way but through them. Day-light robbery that is, i felt.

Why is it important to believe in others? I think, everything originates from the same source, self.

It is important to first believe in yourself. There is no wrong in that. We are just ourselves. There can be no alternative, no possession, no identity other than the fact that an individual controls his own fate. There is only hope when one believes but hope always brings disappointment. We need not all these if we really believe in ourselves, and purity of purpose. Live with a purpose, believe in yourself.

Wow trip has been postponed.

2008-05-20T09:45:00.000-07:00

Oh bollocks!

What in the name of dear bollocks is this arse? I mean the higher ups could have informed us earlier, couldn't they? We could have just unpack all our cargo into their respective areas and scoot. Now they have done it. Postponed it to an August? My August!

They always thought that the Astronomy club is the most relaxed activity of them all. It is not! It is bollocks to let them think that having 6 telescopes and 2 binoculars are good enough, in fact, our collection is not even worth more than some private collectors!

Now with the C-14 stuck up their arse, they rejected an offer to let our school participate in the Astrofest, contributing significantly to the Astronomy scenes. Those old hags, they don't dare to do such a tiny little gesture of respect to our brothers, eh?

Bloody feth, there is nothing compared to them,
Sie ist der hellste Stern von allen

Like. WOW

2008-05-20T09:36:00.000-07:00

Achtung, Achtung

Zis Wier Tripz haz beenz Kanselled.

Zis jerman iz notz veliz dagutz, zo, zis koz oph zis Yearthz kuakz zis wier kan noz biz porzeedz hagen.

Scarborough Fair

2008-05-20T09:33:00.000-07:00

Are you going to Scarborough Fair?
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme,
Remember me to one who lives there,
For she/he once was a true love of mine.

MAN

Tell her to make me a cambric shirt,
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme,
Without any seam nor needlework,
And then she'll be a true love of mine.

Tell her to wash it in yonder dry well,
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme,
Which never sprung water nor rain ever fell,
And then she'll be a true love of mine.

Tell her to dry it on yonder thorn,
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme,
Which never bore blossom since Adam was born,
And then she'll be a true love of mine.

Ask her to do me this courtesy,
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme,
And ask for a like favour from me,
And then she'll be a true love of mine.

BOTH

Have you been to Scarborough Fair?
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme,
Remember me from one who lives there,
For she/he once was a true love of mine.

WOMAN

Ask him to find me an acre of land,
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme,
Between the salt water and the sea-strand,
For then he'll be a true love of mine.

Ask him to plough it with a lamb's horn,
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme,
And sow it all over with one peppercorn,
For then he'll be a true love of mine.

Ask him to reap it with a sickle of leather,
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme,
And gather it up with a rope made of heather,
For then he'll be a true love of mine.

When he has done and finished his work,
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme,
Ask him to come for his cambric shirt,
For then he'll be a true love of mine.

BOTH

If you say that you can't, then I shall reply,
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme,
Oh, Let me know that at least you will try,
Or you'll never be a true love of mine.

Love imposes impossible tasks,
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme,
But none more than any heart would ask,
I must know you're a true love of mine.

2008-05-19T08:41:00.001-07:00

2008-05-12T05:36:00.000-07:00

One fine day in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys got up to fight.
Back-to-back they faced each other,
Drew their swords and shot each other.
One was blind and the other couldn't see,
So they chose a dummy for a referee.
A blind man went to see fair play,
A dumb man went to shout "hooray!"
A deaf policeman heard the noise,
And rushed to save the two dead boys.
A paralyzed donkey walking by,
Kicked the copper in the eye,
Sent him through a rubber wall,
Into a dry ditch and drowned them all.
(If you don't believe this lie is true,
Ask the blind man -- he saw it too!)

2008-05-11T08:05:00.000-07:00

There are a lot of flowers that i can choose from but not everyone is matured for picking. Will there be a sign for me about which to pick. I can only pick one but I really not sure which to.

2008-05-11T07:56:00.001-07:00

I kill myself in small amounts
In each relationship it's not
About love.
Just another funeral and
Just another girl left in tears.
And I'm waiting
With the sound turned off
I'm waiting
Like a glass balloon
And I'm fading
Into the void and then
I'm gone, I'm gone, I'm gone...
They said that hell's not hot
They said that hell's not hot
I gave my soul to someone else
She must have known that
It was already sold.
It was never about her,
It was about the hurt.
I'm waiting
Like a glass balloon
And I'm fading
Into the void and then
I'm gone, I'm gone, I'm gone...
They said that hell's not hot
They said that hell's not hot
I kill myself in small amounts
In each relationship it's not
About love.
Just another funeral and
Just another girl left in tears.
And I'm waiting
With the sound turned off
I'm waiting
Like a glass balloon
And I'm fading
Into the void and then
I'm gone, I'm gone, I'm gone...
They said that hell's not hot
They said that hell's not hot

Wondering around

2008-05-11T07:48:00.000-07:00

I am wondering again, now in another dimension. Another time. this is a great big white world, where alienation is not allowed. I choose to alienate myself, my own fault, the pain is upon myself, there is no end.

"Great Big White World"

In space the stars are no nearer
Just glitters like a morgue
And I dreamed I was a spaceman
Burned like a moth in a flame
And our world was so fucking gone

I'm not attached to your world
Nothing heals and nothing grows

Because it's a great big white world
And we are drained of our colors
We used to love ourselves,
We used to love one another

All my stitches itch
My prescription's low,
I wish you were queen
Just for today

In a world so white what else could I say?

And hell was so cold
All the vases are so broken
And the roses tear our hands all open
Mother Marry miscarry
But we pray just like insects
And the world is so ugly now

Because it's a great big white world
And we are drained of our colors
We used to love ourselves,
We used to love one another

All my stitches itch
My prescription's low,
I wish you were queen
Just for today

All my stitches itch
My prescription's low,
I wish you were queen
Just for today

In a world so white what else could I say?

Because it's a great big white world
And we are drained of our colors
We used to love ourselves,
We used to love one another

All my stitches itch
My prescription's low,
I wish you were queen
Just for today

All my stitches itch
My prescription's low,
I wish you were queen
Just for today

In a world so white what else could I say?

Where will be my white queen, or she will not be around. My pain, my suffering. I must find an end to it, or I will finish it myself. I am but a mortal, There is nothing else over the great beyond.